A FEW MINUTES WITH ... Vince Vance

Vince Vance talks about his athletic career, his love of Drew Brees and why he and the Valiants would have been better than Beyonce:

What kind of athlete were you growing up?

Not as good as I thought I was. I played basketball at St. Mark’s community center and on the first rugby team at Southeastern Louisiana. I would have been a great football player, but I had to cut a hole in the top of my helmet so my hair would fit.

If you could have been a great athlete or a great musician, which route would you have taken?

I would have loved to have been a pro football player, but when I played rugby, I was always on crutches. So I guess it’s best I stuck with music.

What is your fitness regimen now?

I think about getting on my expensive elliptical machine every day. But for my whole life, my fitness regimen has been my show. I dance, I run around in the audience and I used to give people a ride on my back. I don’t know what possessed me to do that.

Who was your favorite athlete when you were growing up?

Billy Cannon and Archie Manning. Billy was the ultimate star. Archie is up there with my favorite people in the world.

Who is your favorite current athlete?

I have to say Drew Brees with Tim Tebow a close second. I like the fact that Drew Brees is a dedicated man and has more character than anyone else in football. Tim Tebow is just a morally great person. And I can’t forget the two Manning boys.

Why didn’t they get you to do the National Anthem at the Super Bowl?

I guess I don’t lip-sync.

Have you ever sung the National Anthem before a game?

I’ve never been asked, and I’m extraordinarily patriotic. That’s why I wrote “Bomb Iran.” I would write a three-part harmony version of the Star-Spangled Banner and I would play piano, but not like Alicia Keys. What she did was embarrassing to me. But I guess I’m just looked on as a comedic character.

How good of a halftime show would you have put on? Would you have been better than Beyonce?

Absolutely. I can’t believe they put that kind of tripe before the American public. She certainly is a pretty girl and a decent singer. But listen to what she’s saying: “Oh yeah, we can make it baby.” There’s nothing uplifting about that. Our show would have been much more entertaining, and we wouldn’t have knocked the lights out either.

So could Beyonce and Alicia Keys be Valiantettes?

No. They’re too self-centered. I think Alicia Keys is extremely talented, but Valiantettes have to be team players.

If you had run into Roger Goodell during Super Bowl week, what would you have said to him?

Be careful buddy, you’re in voodoo city.

If you could swap places with any athletes, past or present, who would be it?

Obviously Drew Brees. To be quarterback of the Saints and to win the Super Bowl? He is much more valuable to the city than just his football play.

On your bucket list ot athletes you’d like to be, who would be your top three?

Well, nobody from San Francisco. I was so glad to see them lose because they used to beat us so bad. I still have a grudge. Probably Jim Brown, Drew, Sean Payton and one the Saintsations, I don’t remember her name though.

How long would you want Vince Vance & the Valiants to sing?

We’ve been going for 41½ years. I have a dream life and I still enjoy what I do. We’re never retiring.

Ted Lewis