Letter: Abortion destroys peace and love

Compromise often is the practical solution to dichotomous situations, as Professor Pamela Behan points out in her letter of Jan 25. As a pro-life supporter, I think she is right that the ethical concerns regarding the sanctity of life are paramount in our view.

The professor states, on the other hand, those opposed to abortion need to “understand that women who cannot control their fertility cannot control their lives, health, careers or family budgets.” This is where she loses me a bit. Although none of us has control, we do make choices in our lives in the areas she mentions. With choices, come outcomes.

Let me offer a different perspective to those who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. Instead of seeing an untimely or unwelcome pregnancy as an unfortunate consequence (punishment) for one’s actions, perhaps one is being offered a blessing (opportunity) — that of being able to bring a new life into the world.

By working in adoption for two years, I saw firsthand the many couples wanting desperately to have children. I witnessed beautiful and precious gifts being made, albeit most often with heartache and tears.

In another letter, Dr. W.A. Krotoski points out how the use of negative rhetoric such as “anti-abortion” (which, I guess, is better than “anti-choice”) is used to discredit the pro-life supporters. Even worse, in my opinion, is the use of language such as “baby killers,” often used by the pro-life group to demonize the pro-choice supporters.

I have also attended these events from time to time and am put off by the attacking stances being made on both sides. In support of compromise let me say, there are times when it probably is not feasible to carry a pregnancy to delivery. Then again, using abortion as birth control or because one does not wish to be pregnant, is unethical in my opinion.

Mother Teresa said it best, “Any country that accepts abortion, is not teaching its people to love, but to use violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.”

Carol Pooley

social worker

Baton Rouge

Comments

1) Comment by prbeav - 24/02/2013

twinkie1cat's posts remind me of Sunday school. I used to study diligently then say what I thought about the lesson and the class would stare at me in shock. For a long time I felt I was a misfit. But after a few decades, it dawned on me that I could not indoctrinate myself.>>>>"If you are forced to have a child that you don't want and it messes up your life and future, it can be as bad as being sent to prison." That statement goes against everything I perceive about appreciation. When couples appreciate each other, they do not have sex: they make love. They may be making love to strengthen their unique bond, in which case, they protect each other from conceiving a child, but are in agreement that if the protection fails, they will appreciate the product of their union. People who do not appreciate each other should not be intimate, let alone copulate. The reason that is not clear to people is that society has not made it clear to people.

2) Comment by 1ryben - 24/02/2013

"Or so you pick and choose verses that are convenient?" WHAT?!? Did I just read that? No way. Shall we start a list?

3) Comment by Whatnow - 24/02/2013

twinkie1cat, only if they have no conscience or soul or humanity. They should give their child up for adoption then. At least this type of creep who can feel that way about their own child won't have to be bothered. As usual, someone else will take care of it, but with a better spirit, I'm sure. Sexual stupidity is the fault of the parents and should not be blamed on the fetus or the child. There are charities that will help her child. At least it won't grow up with a bitter, selfish mother that will take out her stupidity on the child. At least that child will have good food and a decent roof over it's head. Even a lifetime in an orphanage is better than that. Believe me, I know. But, thank goodness I wasn't aborted. Since you say you are a Christian, don't you believe Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations?" Or do you just pick and choose verses that are convenient?

4) Comment by twinkie1cat - 24/02/2013

If you are forced to have a child that you don't want and it messes up your life and future, it can be as bad as being sent to prison. I will stick to that. I have known more than one woman who wishes she had not had children. As for the baby daddies, you might be able to get them for child support, but really the kids are still very often only the mother's responsibility and that child support goes out the window if he loses his job, goes to jail, or becomes disabled. Only if he dies does the child get benefits, his Social Security.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> A lot of women DON"t have good sense when it comes to sex. They think with their nether parts instead of their brains. Many men do too, but the consequence for the woman is much greater. Really, though, should sexual stupidity result in a life sentence??????

5) Comment by Whatnow - 24/02/2013

twinkie1cat, "Having a child can be a punishment for sex." I cannot believe that anyone with any intelligence would make a comment like this. And how do the baby daddy's get punished? Getting pregnant (or getting a girl pregnant) when you don't want to means you are either stupid, have no control over your body or emotions or the current method didn't work or you just don't care. if abortion was not used as a method of birth control, there wouldn't be so many abortions in this country. Common sense would tell you that the use of free condoms or other OTC methods would drastically reduce the number of abortions. The fact that someone was too stupid to use free condoms or OTC products is the reason for too many abortions in this country. The moment of passion is no excuse. The reason is that too many women or men cannot learn the word NO and give into those passions without thought. And your calling it a conservative lie doesn't hold water. Among women having abortions in the United States, about one-half have already had a prior abortion. And most of those already had at least one child. So, it's not like they don't know what can happen if you have sex without protection. http://www.policyarchive.org/handle/10207/5886

6) Comment by maybe_sparrow - 23/02/2013

I have to say that you're wrong, potkcalb. I guess it doesn't happen very often, but I changed my mind about abortion. I used to be very much against people having abortion rights, but read about it and talked to people to find out how they felt and I'm definitely pro- choice these days. But you have a point--most people aren't going to look at it another way.

7) Comment by Bouncer - 23/02/2013

My view on abortion? It's none of anyone's business if a woman wants to terminate a pregnancy. It's a personal, gut-wrenching, emotional decision for a woman to have to make....and it's HER business and HER business alone.

8) Comment by krl777 - 23/02/2013

potkcalb is right that public discourse on abortion has become sterile. It is still dominated to a large extent by uninformed, emotional diatribes such as that by rgeraldwallace, who apparently doesn't realize that abortions of late term fetuses, "in pieces if need be," are a small proportion of the total, and usually occur only in vexed instances when there are health problems for the mother and/or fetus. When more informed people discuss the much more common cases of abortion of embryos and early fetuses, they bring to the discussion incompatible views of what makes a human being -- human DNA, a ghostly "soul" which is embodied during conception, or the neural structures for human thought and feeling. These criteria produce very different judgments of whether early abortion is a morally significant event, yet discussion and argument don't seem to change anybody's opinion about which criterion is correct. There seems, in fact, to be an antecedent choice of criterion, based on whether one's world view is religious or secular, and most often based on tribal grounds -- choosing to believe what one's family, friends, or congregation believes. It would be nice if we could agree that instances of unwanted pregnancy should be minimized, but even that would require that we all value the quality of life -- for mother and child -- above all else, whereas it seems that some people value above all the fecundity of women in marriage, and the punishment of women for pregnancy outside of marriage. That, of course, is the traditional attitude, derived from the view that women are property whose reproduction must be controlled by men.

9) Comment by innercloud - 23/02/2013

because unwanted children really know how to tie a life together, especially for those poor single moms! (incidentally, the massive crime waves of the seventies and eighties tended to be the product of the inability of the mother to choose and for a generation these same unwanted children were responsible for most of the crime in this country, probably because they came from homes that couldn't properly support and raise them. Roe v Wade changed the USA for the better)

10) Comment by prbeav - 23/02/2013

People who wish to abuse women--deny their natural role of deciding whether to remain pregnant or not--need a new argument. I'd like We the People to focus on human appreciation: men caring about women and not considering them sex objects; couples making love instead of having sex and realizing that "making love" incorporates responsibility for any consequences. Posterity needs us to reform.

11) Comment by twinkie1cat - 23/02/2013

Having a child can be a punishment for sex. A majority of pregnant teens end up dropping out of school and living in poverty because the support systems are not in place to help them raise a child and the Republicans are constantly slashing the programs that could help them. If being tied to supporting another person that you did not want for 18-25 years and being locked to that person for life is not punishment, what is?? Yes, she may grow to love the child, but her life is still gravely damaged because her high expectations are now nearly impossible to reach and she ends up working as a hotel maid or hamburger flipper instead of a nurse, engineer or teacher because she was not getting the help she needed to go to college. That baby has to come first. She cannot even connect with a husband of quality because successful men rarely want to be married to a woman who has a baby daddy coming around. A child one was not prepared for sets a person back the same way being African-American did fifty years ago.

12) Comment by twinkie1cat - 23/02/2013

Abortion is not being used as birth control. That is another conservative lie. Now woman would get an abortion ever month or even every 6 months. If you have worked in adoption you know the hell people go through to get an American baby, especially a white baby by that route. The anti-abortionists need to not only support the social programs that support children, in other words put their money where their mouths are, but also work toward smoothing the adoption process and making it where the birth parents have one month and only one month in which to decide to give up all rights to the child they bore, permanently. This means the mother and if known, the father. During this month all other relatives can also make their claims. Then the baby is free to be adopted by any couple, single, or same sex couple who wants him or her, immediately and with no charges. Also, all anti-abortionists who are financially able need to show that they are really prolife, by adopting the older kids, minorities, disabled, single mothers, and family groups who are languishing in foster care. If they take the hard kids they are really pro-life and not just guarding someone else's womb.

13) Comment by potkcalb - 23/02/2013

You are correct Burl it does not make a difference if people want to keep repeating the same thing. I admit that it's a long shot , but perhaps someone will take my advice and get off of the subject of abortion. Anything is possible. Wonders never cease.

14) Comment by Whatnow - 23/02/2013

Having a child not a punishment. It's an inconvenience to most who don't want a child. tradewinns, natural abortion is not the issue. That sounds like a cop out. Natural abortions are not caused by a planned act of destruction. It is a shame that couples who want children so badly have to turn to adopting babies from foreign countries. Our country doesn't advocate adoption as an alternative very much and adoption is made so hard and expensive. It is also sad that there is more shame attached to an un-wed mother by others than to one who commits abortion. Is it easier to say I had an abortion than it is to say I gave a couple the baby that they prayed for and my child a better life? I know it's all about privacy and inconvenience, but what does that say about us as human beings?

15) Comment by tradewinns - 23/02/2013

who is to blame for a natural abortion?

16) Comment by [e-mail] - 23/02/2013

Answer me this somebody. Abortion is anathema to me, but I've noticed that most of those who support abortion also rail against the death penalty; is this also a dichotomy? in the case of a convicted murderor whose guilt is beyond reasonable doubt they fight for his life by claiming that execution might be painful, but in the case of a totally innocent and pure baby they are for killing it by ripping it out of the womb, in pieces if need be. In the case of a killer they insist in a long process of appeals, but in he case of aborting an unborn baby they insist on no scrutiny at all. Hmmm, go figger.

17) Comment by Burl - 23/02/2013

@ potcalb - So, how does your comment "make a difference?"

18) Comment by potkcalb - 23/02/2013

Everything pro or con being said abortion has been repeated ad infinitum. Doesn't everyone (anyone?) grasp that no amount of verbiage, no word unique or phrase or reasoning is going to change anyone's mind.? There isn't going to be an ah ha now I understand moment! It's gotten tiresome and is self defeating because itmakes those with a differing view more uncompromising and intransigent in their opposition. Why not submit comments about something that can make a difference?