Smiley Anders for Feb. 4, 2012

Before we wrap up our stories about milk, here’s a tale by E.F. “Pappy” Sibille, of Opelousas, proving that contributors to this column are geniuses:

“In my childhood, we lived in Sunset on about five acres.

“We milked a Guernsey cow and skimmed some of the rich cream to put in a jar to shake and make butter.

“It took me from 20 to 30 minutes of shaking and resting to get the butter made.

“One morning I went into the wash house, where we had a new electric washing machine.

“The jar of cream fit snugly between two of the agitator’s rubber flaps. I wired it in place and started up the machine, without water of course.

“I had a chunk of butter in about two minutes.

“Mom asked, ‘How did you do that so quickly?’

“I replied, ‘It was easy.’ ”

A matter of geography

Alex “Sonny” Chapman, of Ville Platte, says our recent mention of a fish a reader called a crappie “brought to mind a boyhood observation.

“In the Ville Platte area, the fish we caught on shiners (before jigs) was the white perch.

“If you went 18 miles east to Opelousas, the same fish was called a sac-á-lait.

“Either fish was delicious when fried in corn meal.”

Professional courtesy?

Brendan Brosnan says milk delivery stories remind him of his paper route in the early ’60s:

“We lived in the North, and all the houses had storm doors in addition to the front door.

“In times of inclement weather, we were required to place the newspaper standing up in the little cavity between the storm door and the front door.

“When the customer opened the door, the dry paper fell into the house, and the customer didn’t have to go out in the cold.

“In clear weather I could just throw it on the porch and complete my route in half the time.

“I would always do some griping about the added effort when we had a series of wet days like Baton Rouge just experienced.

“My mother explained that the extra effort was especially appreciated by the elderly customers AND that when I was old I would benefit from this practice and receive my payback for those efforts as a young boy.

“I am still waiting! Please inform the circulation department that I am now over 65 and they should begin placing my paper on the porch.

“I earned it.”

Quick recovery

Thomas Murrel, of Church Point, heard this from the late Ray Belanger, who had lived in Erath:

“Somewhere in Vermilion Parish there is a bridge known among locals as the Belanger Bridge.

“One day Ray, in his truck, approached the Belanger Bridge and saw a line of vehicles stopped in front of him. He got out and walked toward the bridge to find out what the problem was.

“As he approached, he saw an elderly woman engaged in a heated discussion with a young man, a representative of the Department of Highways.

“ ‘Look, T-Boy,’ the woman shouted, ‘I gotta cross this bridge. I got places to go and things to do on the other side.’

“The man said, ‘Ma’am, someone has reported a movement in the bridge. Until we can fix the problem, we can’t allow anyone to cross. We just don’t trust the bridge.’

“The old woman, beside herself with anger, snorted. ‘Well, that’s about right. It’s just like all the Belangers. You can’t trust none of them.’

“A man standing nearby pointed at Ray and told her, ‘Ma’am, that man there is a Belanger.’

“The old woman wheeled around and faced Ray. ‘Well,’ she began, ‘it’s just like I was telling these boys here. You can’t trust any of them Belanger BRIDGES. …’ ”

Worthy causes

Portwood Dental on Siegen Lane is asking each patient to bring in two items of food for the Greater Baton Rouge Food Bank in a drive lasting until March 13.

Names of contributors will be placed in a raffle for a $100 gift certificate to Flemings Steakhouse.

Dr. John Portwood Jr. says the 2012 food drive “was such a success that we knew we wanted to make this an annual drive. Our patients were able to fill two barrels with donations.”

Special People Dept.

Ed and Hilda Guedry celebrate 73 years of marriage Monday.

Discerning diner

Janice Remmetter, of Slaughter, says, “On our recent trip to Charlotte, N.C., to visit our daughter, Susan Wallace, we celebrated grandson Stewart’s sixth birthday.

“When his mother asked him where he would like to eat for his birthday dinner, he replied, ‘Louisiana!’

“I dare say that boy has good taste.”

Lesson in manners

Lynne Acosta, of LaPlace, says, “When my son Kyle was in the second grade at St. Joan of Arc Catholic School, they naturally taught politeness and respect.

“He came home one day and announced, ‘When Sister came in the room today, we all stood up and said, “Good morning Sister, God Bless you Sister,” and she hadn’t even sneezed.’ ”

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.

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