Smiley Anders for Oct. 15, 2012

Noticing our obituaries from New Orleans, I was reminded of a very funny article by “Modine Gunch” in the October issue of New Orleans magazine.

Modine says her mother-in-law, Ms. Larda, is concerned about dying and not getting in the Times-Picayune now that it comes out three days a week:

“… she don’t dare die over a weekend … Even if they put out an extra Saints edition, they ain’t going to put no dead old ladies in that … to be safe, she got to pass on to her eternal rewards on a Tuesday, early, to make the Wednesday Picayune, or on a Thursday for the Friday edition or on a Saturday to get in there on Sunday.”

She says The Advocate appears daily in New Orleans, but “who knows if they’ll have room for people who kicked the bucket in St. Bernard?”

And she’s afraid her friends won’t get our paper.

Not to worry, Modine; I’ve been assured we have plenty of space for St. Bernard obituaries.

And if you get all your friends to subscribe, they’ll be sure to know of your passing.

(I’m an Advocate employee, and I approve this message.)

Days of jeans and maxis

Larry Sumerford tells of clothing styles of the ’70s:

“Before Levi’s straight-leg jeans at Izzy Saltz’s S&W Men’s Store, there were B.Bennett bell bottom, hip hugger, button fly jeans — $4.95.

“Wash them twice, they were totally faded and soft as a baby’s behind.

“I have a picture of me in a pair of B.Bennett’s, gold swirly shirt from Arthur’s Lair with top two buttons unbuttoned, a puka bead necklace and my clog shoes from D.H. Holmes in Cortana. What in the world was I thinking to wear that?

“Once I was in the Cleveland airport and the Cleveland basketball team was waiting for a flight.

“All were over 6 feet 6 inches and wearing maxi coats. They were the picture of style. I could not wait to get back to Baton Rouge and head to Izzy’s for my maxi.

“Izzy slid it over my arms, straightened the collar and told me to turn around and look in the mirror.

“I did. At 5 feet 6 inches tall, I looked like a war refugee from an eastern European country. I did not buy it.”

Nice People Dept.

Margaret Bacon Miller says, “One Saturday I was invited to a party ‘across town’ and could not find Harrell’s Ferry Road because of construction on O’Neal.

“When I realized I had no idea where to go, I pulled into a drug store looking for help.

“I asked this nice lady how to get to the party I was invited to, and she and her sister said to follow them.

“They took me directly to the very house I sought — at least 10 miles from the drug store and very much out of their way — and saw that I was safely parked before they drove away, waving and telling me to have a good time. Now that’s good Louisiana people!”

Dress for excess

Jim Barry says Baton Rouge Little Theater can solve your Halloween costume problem:

“We have a costume sale from Thursday through Oct. 30 in BRLT’s Social Room. After receiving a large donation from a local costume shop that went out of business, our stock has greatly increased.”

Prices are from 50 cents to $25. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday and Saturday mornings from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. (Open until 10 p.m. Oct. 25-26.) Call [phone].

Got golf?

The 12 active members of the Octogenarian Golf Team of Louisiana say they’re available to play in charity tournaments.

Contact founder JoPaul Steiner at [phone] or Curtis Johnson at [phone].

Looking for stuff

The Southeast Louisiana Veterans Health Care System needs donations of clothing, personal hygiene items, non-perishable food, etc., for a “Homeless Veterans Stand Down” Oct. 27 at the VA Urgent Care Center, 1601 Perdido St., in New Orleans.

The event will be held from 9 a.m. to noon for homeless veterans, and noon to 2 p.m. for others who are homeless.

Call Capt. Kevin Ricks at [phone].

Special People Dept.

• John and Elaine DeLatin, of Baton Rouge, celebrate their 63rd anniversary Monday.
• James and Winnie Dane Braud Hawkins, of Dutchtown, celebrate 57 years of marriage Monday.

Thought for the Day

From Harry Clark, of Lafayette: “Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it.”

Extreme tailgating

Phil Yeates, a collector of old newspapers, found in an Aug. 1, 1868, Advocate this dispatch, possibly from Kansas:

“A party recently went out from Leavenworth to Nine Mile Creek for a pleasant picnic.

“Before starting they collected $75, which they gave one of the ladies to expend in goodies for the occasion.

“She turned it over to a gentleman of the party who made the following purchases:

“Thirty bottles of whisky at $2…$60.

“Chickens and bread…$5.

“Cigars…$10.

“The scene on the ground at lunch begs description …”

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.