Smiley Anders for Sept. 25, 2012

As you might expect, I’ve been hearing from LSU football fans about the less-than-scintillating victory over Auburn.

My favorite story comes from Linda Blanchard:

“Upon leaving Mass at St. Alphonsus Sunday morning, I was attempting to reach into the holy water font to bless myself, and there was an elderly gentleman dousing his LSU cap with the water.

“I asked him if he thought that would help the Tigers, and he replied, ‘No, after last night they need a vat — and they all need to be dipped.’ ”

Stinky’s got the blues

Still speaking of football, more or less, we have this from Marvin Borgmeyer about my other favorite team:

“You think the Saints have problems — I got up Monday morning and ran out of toothpaste, soap, shampoo and deodorant, all at the same time.”

We’re welcome

You might have read that The Advocate is planning to beef up its presence in New Orleans due to the Times-Picayune’s decision to cease daily publication of its paper.

Knowing something of New Orleanians’ attitudes about Baton Rouge (remember Ignatius Reilly’s fearful bus ride to Baton Rouge in “Confederacy of Dunces”?), I wondered how the move was going to be received down there.

So I was pleasantly surprised to read the editorial in New Orleans magazine’s September issue, dealing with what it called “The T-P Fiasco.”

It contained these lines: “To Baton Rouge’s Advocate newspaper: We wish you the very best at spreading into New Orleans and providing us with a daily newspaper. You, more than anyone, can prove the wisdom of local ownership.”

Ignatius would be amazed. …

Fried chicken and me

Rick Blackstone says the public is invited to the Audubon Kiwanis Club’s installation of officers dinner 6 P.m. Thursday at the Cortana Mall Piccadilly to hear the guest speaker read from and sign his books.

Since the guest speaker is me, I think it’s a fine idea.

Where else can you buy fried chicken, mac and cheese, turnip greens and corn bread, chocolate pie and iced tea, and enjoy them while hearing bad jokes and worse puns?

That’s generosity!

Sue Plauché tells of being in line for gas at the Jiffy Mart on Coursey the Monday before Hurricane Isaac:

“A lady in a car in front of me was pumping gas, and when she finished she came to my window and asked what kind of gas I was going to use.

“I told her regular, and she then inserted her charge card and began pumping gas in my car before I could get out.

“Totally surprised, I thanked her and offered to pay.

“The lady, who said her name was Susie, said, ‘I wanted to do this.’

“Her kindness and generosity impressed me, and reminded me of all the wonderful people we have in Baton Rouge.”

Kenner goes German

In our continuing search for Oktoberfest celebrations, we found the Oktoberfest presented by Deutsches Haus, in Kenner’s Rivertown (415 Williams Blvd.) on three weekends — Oct. 12-13, 19-20 and 26-27.

Eggs-citing news

Karl Denino says folks looking for duck eggs can find them at Vinh Phat Oriental Market, 12351 Florida Blvd.

Cat chat

Cat Haven says the correct address for The Lake House, site of Cat Tales and Cocktails, Friday at 7 p.m., is 12323 Old Hammond Highway.

Special People Dept.

• Lotcha Jones, of Scotlandville, celebrates her 103rd birthday Tuesday. She’s the oldest member of Greater Mt. Carmel Baptist Church, where on Sunday she sang her favorite song, “The Old Ship of Zion.”
• Mary Benedict, of Fordoche, celebrates her 99th birthday Tuesday.
• Bernice Manske celebrates her 95th birthday Tuesday.
• Noalie McLin Stevens, of Ponchatoula, celebrated her 93rd birthday Saturday.
• Louis and Mary Rose Clement celebrated 62 years of marriage Friday.

What, no kazoos?

Sarah Stravinska, of Chestnut, says, “If you want to really scare your kids straight, tell them the only bands in hell are trios, made up of accordion, harmonica and bagpipes.”

Defining moments

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, came across this definition:

“Wrinkles: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.”

Thanks, Coach Dutch

Eddie Cole says, “While coaching in Thibodaux, I announced to my victorious cross-country squad after they had won the district championship, ‘Let’s all
meet at the Western Sizzler for a Dutch treat celebration!’

“Imagine my surprise after the last runner departed the restaurant when our waitress handed me five unpaid bills.

“Apparently, some of my team members thought my nickname was ‘Dutch.’

“We clarified that at the beginning of practice the next day.”

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.