Smiley: As the stomach churns

A slew of readers (a slew is more than a bunch) have commented on the heart-stopping finish of the recent athletic contest in Houston involving Tigers and Badgers.

For instance, Robby Zeringue says, “During the fourth quarter of the LSU-Wisconsin game, I was expecting to see a commercial break touting Rolaids as the ‘Official Antacid of the LSU Fighting Tigers.’ ”

Final Yats

Our “You might be a Yat if …” contest comes to a much-anticipated close Friday, and the winner or winners will be announced in Monday’s column. Here are some final entries:

R. Settoon: “You’re certainly a Yat if you can sing the first verse to the Pontchartrain Beach jingle.”

Ralph Drouin: “You might be a Yat if you change the ‘erl’ in your vehicle. (I would imagine the conversation would go like this if a Yat would ask Boudreaux to help him: ‘Hey, Boudreaux! You wanna help me change the erl in my car?’ ‘Mais, why is my cousin Earl in your car, anh?’)”

Carol Weems Keith, who was raised Uptown, one block from Audubon Park and Monkey Hill: “You might be a Yat if you refer to sidewalks as ‘banquettes.’ ”

Cindy Moran: “When working in a retail nursery, if someone asked to buy some ‘mud,’ you knew it was a Yat looking for potting soil.”

Eleanor Howes offers this sobering thought: “You know you’re a Yat when one of your wedding presents is an ax to keep in the attic in case you need to hack your way through the roof when floodwaters rise too high.”

Think pink

In some editions of The Advocate on Thursday, there was a photo of a yard in Prairieville populated by cheap plastic pink flamingos.

It was a fundraising idea for a worthy cause, in which the flamingos are deposited on your lawn and you’re supposed to pay the fundraisers to have them removed.

This might work in the ’burbs, but in my neighborhood, it just wouldn’t fly.

The residents of Spanish Town, Baton Rouge’s oldest neighborhood, are devoted to the cheap plastic pink flamingo, and they grace many yards there.

The flamingo is the symbol of the neighborhood and its Mardi Gras ball and parade, and wooden flamingos are placed in City Park Lake every year to herald the start of the festivities.

If you tried leaving plastic flamingos in the yards around me, the residents would be delighted, and would firmly resist any attempts to remove them, no matter how worthy the cause.

So consider yourself warned. …

Inquiring Minds Dept.

Alex Chapman, of Ville Platte, wonders: “With everybody carrying a camera these days (aka a cellphone) and shooting pics of everything, animate or inanimate, and texting or posting on Facebook, I’m curious if the magic word ‘Cheese!’ is still in vogue?”

(Which also brings up this question: When you take a selfie, do you tell yourself, “Cheese!”?)

Colorful tip

Carroll Boyer, of Gretna, says, “In reference to Monday’s column about the secret to buying a fresh-baked loaf of bread, here is another tip.

“I could never remember which color of twist-tie goes to which day of the week. But note that the colors are in alphabetical order.

“So if you are looking at a blue twist and a green twist, the green twist is the fresher one, and so on. I have used this tip for years.”

Mobile homes?

Paul Major says, “One of the pictures accompanying the article on the False River drawdown had as the caption, ‘Camps and homes line the False River shoreline in New Roads on Sunday.’

“My question is: Where do the camps and homes go the other six days of the week?”

Special People Dept.

Dwight and Ivonia Smith celebrate their 67th anniversary on Saturday.

Nancy and Anthony Michelli celebrate 60 years of marriage on Friday.

John and Lula Collier Ballard celebrate their 57th anniversary on Sunday.

Bob and Lee Carr celebrate their 55th anniversary on Friday.

Sylvester and Jackie Giroir, of Jackson, celebrate 55 years of marriage Saturday.

Thought for the Day

An astrological observation from Michael Patrick O’Brien, of Metairie: “If it wasn’t for New Year’s Eve, there wouldn’t be any Virgos at all.”

A chilling prayer

As you may know, The Advocate’s offices in Baton Rouge are in a building leased from the Jimmy Swaggart folks.

When I arrived at work Thursday morning and found the office a bit warm, I had an email message from the people in our facilities management department explaining that the air conditioning had gone out but that “the ministry was able to restart one of the chillers.”

This brought a vision of a flock of preachers with heads bowed in prayer standing over the chiller and intoning, “Heal, heal!”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.