Smiley: Win them ersters

I’ve enjoyed our “You might be a Yat if …” contest, but I’m winding it up Friday. So get your entries in for a chance to dine on an erster po-boy at Deanie’s.

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, who suggested the contest, offers a couple of his own entries:

“You might be a Yat if you think ‘going on safari’ means you gotta cross the 17th Street Canal.”

“You might be a Yat if you think the four compass points are lakeside, riverside, uptown and downtown.”

Pam Strickland says you might be a Yat if you eat paneed meat and call French toast “lost bread.”

Or, if “you used to make groceries at Schwegmann’s and then went home and saved them.”

A crushing experience

Bennie Zahn, of New Orleans, says her cousin Caryl Rivers in Tigard, Oregon, tells why her neighborhood crows can’t be described as “birdbrains:”

“In the autumn, walnuts fall from the trees near our main street and roll into the gutter. The crows know food is inside but can’t break open the shells.

“They need help, so they employ the automobile.

“When the traffic light changes and no vehicles are on the road, the murder of crows picks up the nuts from the gutter, walks them into the traffic lanes and flies back into the trees — and waits.

“Soon traffic flows again, rolling over and smashing the walnut shells.

“The traffic light changes, the road is clear, and the crows fly from their trees to get the crushed nuts — and have a feast.”

Scheduling problem

It was with mixed emotions that I received the news that in a couple of months Jim Engster is moving his popular radio interview show from WRKF public radio to 107.3 FM.

It’s also becoming a two-hour show, from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m.

Jim is possibly the world’s best interviewer, and over the years, I’ve enjoyed getting up early to catch his morning show and its variety of guests.

He’s even had me on a few times, when he couldn’t book anyone important.

I wish him the best, of course, but I do have some concerns about his new time slot and the effect it will have on my listening habits.

You see, it will now be on during happy hour. …

Picky, picky, picky

Anna Cochran, of Walker, tells of an especially demanding employer:

“The other day in the Classified section of the newspaper, there was an ad for a tree-climbing job.

“It said you have to have three to five years experience. Does that mean if I have six years experience they won’t hire me?

“It also said you must have a valid driver’s license. Since when do you have to have a driver’s license to climb a tree?”

Colorful suggestion

After Tom Toddy asked for the secret to buying a fresh-baked loaf of bread, Charlotte Prouty offered this:

“Tell him to look at the color of the wire twists. If it’s blue, it was baked on a Monday. Green means Tuesday, red for Thursday, white for Friday, and yellow denotes Saturday.”

Flags wanted

Several readers have asked where they can bring old American flags for a respectful retirement.

Boy Scout Troop 888 has a flag retirement and 9/11 memorial ceremony at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 9, at St. George Fire Training Center, 14000 block of Airline Highway.

Bring your flags to the ceremony (by 6:30 p.m.) or drop them off at Most Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church or St. Andrew’s United Methodist Church by Friday, Sept. 5.

Go to www.troop888.net.

Special People Dept.

Former Baton Rouge residents Virginia and Kim “Pops” Seago, now of Columbia, Tennessee, celebrate 51 years of marriage on Monday.

Horsing around

Terry Dantin, of Thibodaux, says, “Back before Elvis and the Vietnam War, I began my teaching career at the fifth-grade level.

“My first assignment to the class was for each student to write about their past summer experience.

“My favorite was by a little girl who started her story with ‘Once a Pony Time.’ ”

Be prepared

Richard Guidry, of Zachary, tells this story:

“Three prisoners decided to break out of a Texas prison, but they had to cross a desert to get to Mexico and freedom.

“Each was instructed to bring an item to help them survive the trip.

“They separated, and after scaling the wall, they met at a prearranged spot in the desert.

“When asked what each had brought, the first said, ‘I stole sunscreen from the infirmary so we won’t get sunburned.’

“The second said, ‘I took sandwiches from the chow hall in case we get hungry.’

“The third, an ex-Aggie quarterback, said, ‘I took a door off of the warden’s car — in case we get hot, we can roll the window down.’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.