Smiley: One clever spouse

By smiley anders

As a longtime husband, I greatly admire Ernie Gremillion’s cleverness in dealing with what could have been a contentious family issue. Here’s his story:

“Some years ago I decided to remove a precarious limb hanging over my wife’s studio.

“Ironically, it was on George Washington’s birthday and both my son and I had the day off from school and work to do it.

“In spite of attempts to tie it off to keep it from falling on the roof, that’s exactly what happened. It punctured the roof and went inside through the ceiling.

“Knowing that my wife would be coming home for lunch, my son kept asking what I was going to tell Mom about the hole in her studio ceiling.

“I told him I would think of something — and when the moment of truth came, I calmly advised her that I had decided where I would install the smoke alarm in her studio she had been asking about.”

Creative transportation

Wayne Cambre, retired and living in southwest Mississippi, tells this “local color” tale:

“We have a young lady friend up here who is a school teacher.

“School started this week, and she was telling us a story about a kid who was having a problem.

“The teachers in the office called the mom to come pick up the child.

“Later on during the morning, the mom showed up to get him on a riding lawnmower pulling a small trailer.

“Like our old friend, Jeff Foxworthy, would say, ‘You might be a redneck …’ ”

Granny’s Dodge

Kathy Wallace, of Russellville, Ark., adds to our car songs list: “Not that it has anything to do with my age, but I nominate that better-than-great classic ‘The Little Old Lady From Pasadena,’ made famous in the ’60s, first by Jan and Dean and then the Beach Boys.

“As the song goes, ‘The little old lady from Pasadena, has a pretty little flower bed of white gardenias. But parked in her rickety old garage, is a brand new, shiny red Super Stock Dodge. Go Granny, go Granny go …’

Kathy adds, “I really can’t relate … I drive a Buick!”

Horsing around

Sue Sperry, of Metairie, says she’s from Kansas City, and the Chiefs’ horse that ran around the field after touchdowns was Warpaint, not Scout as a reader recalled. (Scout was Tonto’s pinto in “The Long Ranger.”)

Sue says Warpaint “was retired in 1989 and went to live a quiet life at Benjamin Stables. The last year I lived in KC I attended the American Royal Livestock and Horse Show, and Warpaint came out of retirement for an appearance. He still remembered his old routine!”

The Chiefs’ website says that due to popular demand, a new Warpaint was introduced in 2009 and runs around the field at home games, ridden by a cheerleader named Susie who’s a skilled rider.

Thank-you note

Christine Epps, of Zachary, thanks those who helped her when she collapsed on the train in Jackson, Miss.

She’s also grateful to the folks at the hospital in Mississippi, and the nurses and therapy team at Lane Memorial in Zachary. Singled out for special thanks are Jackie and Jessica, and Nancy and Ray Horn.

“I am doing much, much better,” she says.

Special People Dept.

Oh brother!

Phil Ragusa adds to our series on pranks:

“My dad was a career grocery store owner. My older brother, Pete, and I helped out in the store, especially when we had to stock the shelves.

“Pete and I were stocking one day and I told him there was not enough room to put all the sugar on the shelf.

“He told me to go look in the wareroom for a ‘shelf stretcher.’ Off I went.

“I retired as a storekeeper, and he retired from Lockheed as a senior engineer.

“P.S.: Pete once had me take a BIG whiff of Parson’s ammonia, assuring me it would be the best thing I ever would smell.”

Date night

Algie Petrere came across this story:

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house.

“You did a great job,” he said as he handed the man a check. “Also, in order to thank you, here’s an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie.”

Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter.

Thinking the man had forgotten something, he asked, “What’s the matter? Did you forget something?”

“Nope,” replied the painter. “I’m just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.