Smiley: On wearing food

By smiley anders

Harriet St.Amant says a friend just sent her what she figures is a perfect midsummer story. I agree:

“On a hot summer day husband Tom, 8-year-old son Ron, and I were eating ice cream cones.

“I noticed the ice cream on Ron’s face and asked him, ‘Can’t you eat ice cream without getting it all over your face?’

“‘I don’t know,’ he replied, ‘I never tried.’ ”

Cautious dealer

Before my Well-Deserved Vacation I was running unusual business names and slogans.

Darcee Black tells of a used car lot in Franklin, Tenn., with this slogan:

“We back ’em up,

And we stand behind ’em,

But never at the same time.”

Nice try

Proud mom Rachel Cupples says her son, Sgt. 1st Class Sidney Cupples, is retired from the U.S. Army.

But when he was 4, she says, Sidney came up with a great definition:

“Sidney and I went to a fruit stand in Brusly one weekend and bought some fruit.

“On the ride home Sidney decided to try a nectarine.

“When I asked him if he knew what he was eating, he replied, ‘I think it is TRYING to be an apple.’ ”

Huey to Sandy

Huey, a terrier mix who greets guests at Baton Rouge’s downtown Hotel Indigo, has come a long way.

The rescue dog joined the hotel staff last year, with the assistance of the LSU School of Veterinary Medicine.

And on Saturday he’ll play Sandy in the Manship Theatre’s Musical Camp production of “Annie.”

Huey will be on stage for the 5:30 p.m. performance. Another pooch, Sallie, will play Sandy at the 3 p.m. show.

This first Musical Camp production features 59 kids ages 6 to 13. Tickets are $10. Call (225) 344-0334 or visit www.manshiptheatre.org.

Happy returns

Ray Starns thanks the honest person who found the wallet he dropped Saturday at J.W. Food Mart in Brusly:

“I did not discover this until I stopped to get gas in Baton Rouge.

“I panicked! Then I realized the last time I took my wallet out was at J.W. Food Mart.

“I phoned, and the clerk said they had my wallet. A customer had turned it in.

“All cash, credit cards, etc., were still in the wallet.

“I would like to say a big ‘thank you’ to that customer and the clerks. There are good, trustworthy people who do the right thing.”

Worthy causes

The Baton Rouge campus of University of Phoenix joins the Boys & Girls Club of Greater Baton Rouge to collect school supplies.

Online money donations may be made, and University of Phoenix will collect supplies at 2431 S. Acadian Thruway.

Needed are backpacks, pencils, pens, notebook paper, crayons, markers, etc.

The drive lasts until July 30.

Visit http://bgca.convio.net/site/Donation2?df_id=6441&6441.donation=form1.

Special People Dept.

Thought for the Day

From Carl Spillman: “You know someone is from south Louisiana or Mississippi if they have a backup coffeepot.”

He drives a toaster?

Harry Clark, of Lafayette, says, “In the early ’60s my brother had a Sunbeam, a little two-seater English sports car.

“He was working on it and stripped a bolt, so he went to an auto parts store to find a replacement.

“The counter guy was not able to match it, and asked him what it came from.

“My brother proudly told him that it was from his Sunbeam.

“The counter guy asked him, ‘Have you tried an appliance store?’ ”

Think about it

I’ve been using bar jokes from past columns during my Well-Deserved Vacation.

“The best bar joke ever” is from District Attorney Charles Riddle III, of Marksville:

The French philosopher RenĂ© Descartes, known for “I think, therefore I am,” walks into a bar,

He states, “Bartender, I’ll have a beer,” and guzzles it down in less than 10 seconds.

Bartender: “Do you want another?”

Descartes: “I think not!”

Poof! Descartes disappears.

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.