Smiley: Fun with tax time

By smiley anders

Ernie Gremillion offers an appropriate story for this date:

“As a former IRS employee, I am reminded of the many funny IRS stories I have heard.

“One that comes to mind is about the anonymous letter IRS received with a large check attached.

“The letter went on the describe how the writer had cheated on his taxes years ago, and couldn’t sleep since.

“It contained a P.S. that explained if the writer still couldn’t sleep, he would send the rest.”

Unwanted mail

Algie Petrere says it’s “appropriate that the month you send in tax returns begins with April Fool’s Day and ends with cries of ‘May Day!’ ”

She also tells this tale:

“The fellow stormed into the postmaster’s office in a fury, and complained, ‘I’ve been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped.’

“ ‘Of course,’ said the postmaster. ‘Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who’s sending them?’

“ ‘Yes,’ shouted the man. ‘It’s those idiots down at the Internal Revenue Service.’ ”

Is it contraband?

Susie Eubanks says husband Tommy has qualified to be on Team USA for the World Kayak Fishing Championship in Victoria, Australia, in the fall.

He and the other five qualifying members of Team USA will compete with teams from 14 other countries.

She says, “After reading in your column of Milford Thiel being in Australia and missing Louisiana food, we were concerned about missing our Community Coffee as well.

“Australia has very strict guidelines about the food items that may be brought into the country, so we are hoping they won’t confiscate the pounds of coffee we plan on packing in our luggage.”

She says going without his Community “just might throw off his chance of bringing home the world championship!”

The ultimate bribe

Hunley P. Dufour Jr. says, “Reading the letters relative to south Louisiana coffee brought back memories of my time at tech school at Lowery Air Force Base in Denver back in early 1964.

“One of my instructors had been stationed at Chennault Air Force Base in Lake Charles and had married a Cajun.

“When he found out where I was from, he asked me if I wanted to pass his class. His only stipulation was that I have someone ship some Luzianne coffee to me for him.

“My dear Cajun mother willingly obliged. After that at every class break he would ask me if I wanted ‘a good cup of coffee.’

“Incidentally, I passed the class — on my own.”

Double your trouble

Algie says Baton Rouge’s best margarita (now that the legendary La Fonda ‘ritas are no more) is at El Rancho Mexican Grill on Florida Boulevard:

“They have 2 for 1 margaritas every day from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. Not that anyone would be interested …”

Meet me at Smilie’s

Chick St. Germaine says a long-standing tradition in Harahan is the Holy Thursday luncheon of the Tabs Club at Smilie’s restaurant on Jefferson Highway.

For 34 years more than 50 men gather annually for the invitation-only luncheon.

This year Chick, Danny Aucoin and Gene Cobb hosted it.

Chick says the Tabs Club has “no officers, dues, etc. It’s just an outstanding social luncheon. We splintered off from the Bats Club 34 years ago because of overcrowding.”

Maybe I’ll learn more about the Tabs Club, and the Bats Club, when I go down to Smilie’s for lunch.

You know I MUST go there. With a name like Smilie’s it has to be good …

Angel sighting

Mary Grace Simpson thanks her neighborhood “angel,” Donna:

“She lives just a block from me. When she walks her dog early every morning she moves my Advocate from curb side to my back door. One day it was raining and smart doggie refused to go outside, so angel Donna got in her car and drove over to move my newspaper.”

Special People Dept.

Eudorah White, of Covington, celebrates her 90th birthday Monday.

Luhvill and Wuhvill

Dave Myers of Central says reading about the way to pronounce Louisville, “I was reminded of my education on how to say Woodville, Miss.

“It’s not ‘Wood-ville’ at all. “Even though the first half of the two words are totally different, simply change the ‘L’ to ‘W,’ as in ‘Luhvill’ and ‘Wuhvill.’

“Also, when I moved to Central I was quickly informed that it’s not ‘Hoop-er’ Road, it’s ‘Hupper.’ ”

Trick question

Pat Crotty, of Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., says, “Regarding Louisville, I ask folks, ‘How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky — is it Louieville or Luisville?’

“They will inevitably pronounce it one way or the other.

“Then I tell ’em, ‘No, it’s Frankfort.’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.