Dear Smiley: In reference to your recent malady (gout) at the New Iberia Gumbo Cook-off — sorry for your pain.
My Alex also has flare-ups from “South Louisiana Disease.”
After reading what your doctor told you about food and drink (I’d been telling him the same thing for years), he realized his three choices:
1. Stop beer and seafood.
2. Cut off his big toes.
3. Die.
Nos. 2 and 3 are under consideration. Meanwhile Advil will do.
Is that true Cajun or what?
VICTORIA ATKINSON
Plaquemine
Dear Smiley: I was reading an article about “red tide” recently which started me thinking.
Red tide is usually highly toxic, and paralyzes the central nervous system of fish so they can’t breathe.
It can also cause eye and respiratory irritation (tearing, wheezing, coughing, sneezing) in human beach-goers.
Sounds like a bad thing that we should make every effort to eliminate!
And it shouldn’t matter what hue the red tide is — ruby, brick, burgundy, scarlet … or crimson.
HARRIET ST.AMANT
Baton Rouge
Dear Harriet: Wasn’t that kind of a long way around to get in a dig at Alabama?
Dear Smiley: My mom has been in New Orleans for 50 years now.
She was quite upset about her Times-Picayune scaling down.
Of course I suggested she give The Advocate a try.
I went down to take her to lunch yesterday and asked how she liked the paper.
Her face lit up and she said, “Fine, and I especially like that Smiley. I read him first!”
Didn’t take her long.
SARAH LIVINGSTON
Baton Rouge
Dear Smiley: Mention of LSU football star Steve Van Buren brought back fond memories.
My stepfather, George J. “Rockhead” Fanning, roomed with Van Buren in the Pentagon dorm in 1940-41.
Rockhead arrived at LSU in 1938 at age 16. At that time there were two dorms for men: the Stadium and the Pentagon.
To get into the Pentagon you had to either (1) play football, (2) play in the band or (3) sign up for the infantry in ROTC. Since Rockhead couldn’t qualify under (1) or (2), he did know how to march, so infantry it was.
In Rockhead’s senior year, the freshman Steve Van Buren was assigned as his roommate.
Dad loved to tell of the time Van Buren and other football players picked up Dad’s Morris Mini (not to be confused with the current BMW model) and carried it up to the third level. Harder to get it down!
(Dad graduated in 1941, got his second lieutenant commission, then learned the real effect of choosing infantry.
He spent November 1942 through May 1945 in combat, in North Africa, Sicily, landing on Omaha Beach on D-Day, then on into Germany.)
ROBERT L. CABES
Lafayette
Dear Smiley: Since you are now an extension to my native folks in N’Awlins per the Advocate’s new-found penetration into the Times-Pic’s market share, I hadn’t heard you mention a favorite seafood platter place: Deanie’s.
Their “mile high” platters and onion rings are more than enough for me and Lady Maria.
So as the beloved late Buddy Diliberto was noted to promote on their ads: “If ya ain’t in Bucktown, baby, ya ain’t at the real Deanie’s!”
KEITH HORCASITAS
Baton Rouge
Dear Keith: They paying you in onion rings to promote that place?
Dear Smiley: A comment in your column about finding where you parked in a large lot reminded me of times I’ve had trouble finding my vehicle.
As I grow older, the problem has exacerbated.
One thing I started doing is making a mental note of just which row I parked in.
A couple of times when that didn’t work, I realized I must also make a mental note when I’m driving my wife’s car instead of my pickup.
DOUG JOHNSON
Watson
Dear Smiley: When I was a home health nurse and visiting a patient the following happened:
Her husband, going faster than greased lighting, drove up, stopping short on a dime.
He got out of the car, madder than an old wet hen.
He’d had a “come to Jesus” meeting with a friend that didn’t go well.
He told me, “I looked him in the eye, which was hard to do, since he was lower than a snake’s belly.
“I told him that hell was too good for him.”
He then told me his friend was so ugly that when he was little his mamma took him with her everywhere she went, so she wouldn’t have to kiss him goodbye.
GLENDA LOCKHART
Denham Springs
Dear Glenda: Your little story wouldn’t be a comment on our recent old sayings, would it?
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.
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