Smiley Anders for Oct. 10, 2012

By smiley anders

Like all residents of that area, Tony Falterman, of Napoleonville, is worried about the sinkhole in the Bayou Corne area of Assumption Parish.

Tony also has a sinking feeling about one of the people dealing with the situation.

He says, “A friend of mine told me of the boats that bring the different agency representatives into Bayou Corne near the sinkhole to look at the bubbles and monitors.

“It seems that along the bayou there are signs that read NO WAKE ZONE in the yards of the homes.

“One DEQ employee asked a boat driver if all of these people worked at night!”

Not eggs-actly the same

On Saturday, Lady K and I were in New Orleans hanging out with Bonnie Warren, one of my favorite writers, at Brennan’s on Royal Street. (If you want to hang out in the French Quarter, Brennan’s isn’t a bad place to do it.)

My visit to the venerable restaurant, famed for its elaborate breakfasts, reminded me of the time years ago when I described my breakfast at Brennan’s to my daughter, Tammy, then a young teen.

I told her I had Eggs Benedict and described it as a poached egg over Canadian bacon on an English muffin with Hollandaise sauce on top.

She considered this a moment, then said, “Oh, like an Egg McMuffin …”

This led me to explain the definition of adulthood: knowing the difference between Eggs Benedict and Egg McMuffin.

Save your sole

Malcolm Wright says, “One morning at the LSU Rec Center, this big strong kid (the kind we grow now) had a pair of flip flops, about size 15, lying on the floor upside down.

“I noticed a piece of metal embedded under the arch of each shoe. I asked this guy if those were a new kind of shoe for bike pedals.

“He said ‘No, those are bottle openers in my soles.’

“Now, I know that all kinds of wonderful beverages come in bottles that do not have twist-off tops.

“But do you put a case of them on the floor and walk off the tops? Are some people ambidextrous and able to remove tops with either foot? Is not being able to balance on one foot mean it is time to go home?”

Do it yourself

After I mentioned that Oct. 30 is Create a Great Funeral Day, I heard from Stephanie West Allen, a Denver lawyer:

“In your column, you wondered how to celebrate this holiday.

“It’s a day to remind people of all the benefits of creating their own unique funerals or memorial services, regardless of age or state of health.

“I registered it many years ago, and this Oct. 30 will be the 13th annual!”

Speaking of dead

The same day The Advocate ran a story about residents of the Jones Creek-Tiger Bend area protesting the cutting down of 100-year-old trees by road construction crews, I got a call for a tree’s removal.

Calvin Balancie says, “When passing the new beautiful Woman’s Hospital on Airline Highway with its lake and new trees and plants, there stands a large DEAD tree in the landscape.

“Why is the tree still there? Are they going to spray it black and decorate it for Halloween?”

Spare change

Michael Murphy, of Greenwell Springs, thanks All Star Lanes in Baton Rouge for allowing the Thursday night bowling leagues to participate in a St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital fundraiser:

“All Star Rollers, Centurions and Strikes and Spares volunteered to donate a penny a pin. We raised over $642 to help fight childhood cancer.

“Thanks to all who donated, and to Mike LaCroix and Diane Domingue of All Star Lanes for helping me put this together.”

Worthy causes

On Friday, the 25th annual Hollingsworth Richards Bert Jones Golf Classic at Greystone Golf and Country Club in Denham Springs benefits the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Tee times are 7:30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m., and teams and sponsors are welcome. Call (225) 769-9994 or email baton-rouge@cff.org.

Special People Dept.

Inquiring Minds Dept.

Dale Boyett has a question about an item in The Advocate saying that Baton Rouge police arrested a man on a DWI charge, also charging him with a violation of the law mandating “stop lamps and turn signals required on new vehicle.”

Dale asks, “NEW vehicle? Was he driving a YUGO?”

Ultimate compliment

I know, I said I was ending our seminar on old sayings, but this one from Chuck Falcon, of Donaldsonville, is too good to pass up:

“My cousin, Sonny Denoux, had a saying when he would see a good-looking girl: ‘She would make a freight train take a dirt road.’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@
theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.