Smiley Anders for Sept. 18, 2012

Proving that war is indeed hell

By smiley anders

In keeping with this column’s mission to enlighten our readers, here’s a bit of Civil War history I don’t recall being mentioned in T. Harry Williams’ class at LSU:

Earl C. Johnson says, “When I was in my early teens, I loved listening to my stepgrandfather, Frank Randolph, tell stories about the war between the states.

“Since his father had been a Confederate soldier, ‘Mr. Frank’ related these events almost as if they were firsthand.

“My favorite, which I heard from him many times, told of the Yankees burning the University of the South at Sewanee, Tenn., in 1863.

“The blood would rise in Mr. Frank’s face each time he related that ‘when the Yankees burned Sewanee, they even burned the school’s outhouses.’

“Of course, this sliver of fact about a terrible chapter in our country’s history never made the history books.

“Rather, it survived by word of mouth, as has so much of mankind’s knowledge of our past.”

Comic science

As you may have noticed in the Sunday paper, our legislators have gained national attention in an appropriate place — the comics section.

“Doonesbury” features a Louisiana high school science teacher dutifully following a state law allowing students to learn an alternative theory to evolution “supported by no scientific evidence whatsoever.”

As the teacher tells his science students about the six-day creation of Earth and Noah’s ark, a student tells him, “Please stop. I’d like to get into a good college.”

Further evidence that the Louisiana Legislature is one entity that hasn’t evolved. …

Clever Jim

Mike McNeese, of Prairieville by way of Metairie, presents evidence that Brother Dave Gardner didn’t originate the quote “Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.”

Says Mike: “The originator of the line was James A. Garfield, 20th president of the U.S. and second to be assassinated (in office only 200 days).

“He also said, ‘The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.’ ”

Mike says these and more Garfield quotes are available on the BrainyQuote and Equotes websites.

From rock to sports

When Buddy Songy told me that WUBR, the new Fox Sports radio station, is at 910 AM, I thought that number sounded familiar.

He explained that it was once the location on the radio dial of WLCS, which brought early rock music to a generation of Baton Rouge teens.

National sports talkers Dan Patrick and Jim Rome will be joined by local voices such as Jordy Hultberg, Tommy Krysan and, of course, Buddy, a 25-year sports radio veteran.

Eggs-citing news

Sometimes we get results:

Judith A. Schiebout says, “A friend of mine wanted to make Chinese salted duck eggs, but could find no egg source locally.

“You put out the word, and now she is enjoying making them and sharing them with friends. Thanks.”

L of a note

John LaCarna says that IBM electric typewriter without a 1 key a reader mentioned might not be so unusual:

“When I learned to type on a manual Underwood in the ’50s, we were taught to use the lowercase L for the numeral 1.”

Not her type

Harriet St.Amant says our mention of typewriters reminds her of the days before word processing on computers:

“I remember that there was no exclamation point (which is now on the same key as 1).

“We had to use an apostrophe, then backspace and add a period.

“Unlike today’s word processors, backspacing did not automatically delete something.

“When we made an error (as in ‘misteak’) we had to either try to erase it; go back and type and retype the correct word, letter, whatever; or start over with a new piece of paper.

“There are distinct advantages to technology!”

Special People Dept.

Loraine Bruner celebrates her 92nd birthday Tuesday.

Business as usual

Joyce Montgomery, of Denham Springs, says, “I was very pleased to read that we will soon begin repaving Florida Boulevard. The corridor definitely needs the work.

“I see it will take the typical time frame for road improvements around here: ‘The repaving is supposed to last for 20 to 25 years.’ ”

Baptist St. Patrick?

Legend has it that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.

Pastor Terry Ellis, of Broadmoor Baptist, showed that his denomination can also handle that task.

“Bayoujeaux” says the pastor “offered staff help to any of his members who needed assistance in cleanup after Isaac passed by.

“One of our saintly widows called the office and said she didn’t have any cleanup, but did have a snake in her garage.

“Pastor Ellis went, armed with a broom. If snakes have a heaven, that snake is there now.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.