Smiley Anders for June 27, 2012

On going green the gourmet way

By smiley anders

I recently acquired a copy of the Whole Green Catalog, a big book listing things that help us go green from hybrid cars to hemp-seed milk (really!).

Thumbing through it and marveling at things like organic jeans and “low-flow composting toilets,” I came across an interesting suggestion — to protect native fish and plants from “alien crustaceans,” we can actually EAT crawfish!

We are told that eating them is the best way to rid your local waters of the pest, and that “crayfish” are “traditional table fare in the Southeast …”

The book recommends trapping them in a baited cage, and says Trapper Arne of Payson, Ariz., manufactures and sells “some of the very best crayfish traps on the market.”

(Which is why Arizona is called “The Crawfish State.”)

So next time you need to feel good about yourself, sit down to a mound of boiled crawfish or a plate heaped with étouffée.

You can tell folks you’re not just enjoying a Cajun delicacy, you’re SAVING THE PLANET!

This takes the cake!

Gail C. Tassin says son Paul is working in Ohio at Cedar Point Amusement Park.

He called home the other day to check on the tropical storm, asking if “Little Debbie” was going to pound Louisiana.

Says Gail: “Did I mention that Paul is fond of sweets?”

Flowers for animals

Jade Mitchell, a Denham Springs 8-year-old, says, “I have had a passion to help the animals at the local shelter ever since my mom and I visited it when I was around 4 years old.”

So she makes “flowers” out of colored duct tape and puts them on pens and pencils.

The pen she sent me is red, white and blue, with red stars on it — very colorful.

She’s using the money she makes from selling them to help the Denham Springs Animal Shelter, either with cash donations or by buying toys and treats for the animals.

You can order Jade’s flowery writing implements by calling her or her mom, Julie, at (225) 937-4431, or by going to jadesflowers@yahoo.com or “Jades flowers” on Facebook.

The real seawolves

After the LSU baseball team’s encounter with the Stony Brook Seawolves, I didn’t think anybody down here would want to hear more on the subject.

But Claude Guidry says “seawolf” is another name for the anglerfish, a fearsome-looking deep-sea critter with rows of spiky teeth.

My research, admittedly limited, shows that another fish, the Atlantic wolffish, bears the name seawolf, while the anglerfish is called the sea devil or common black devil.

Neither are very pretty.

The Dagwood diet

Our reader Russ, evidently with too much time on his hands, says, “Y’ever stop to think that Dagwood Bumstead has worked at the same place for over 70 years? Guess he’s got a lousy retirement plan.

“Ol’ Dag is in great shape for a fella his age. He eats those huge sandwiches, spends his time either reading the paper or napping on the sofa, but never gains weight. Hmm …”

Nice People Dept.

David McGee thanks the folks at Brother’s Ace Hardware on Millerville Road:

“I had been having trouble locking and unlocking my double-keyed deadbolt on the front door of my home.

“I took it to my neighborhood hardware store with the intention of purchasing a new one and having it keyed the same as the existing one.

“One of the managers decided to check my current lock, which involved replacing the tumbler pins and giving it a good cleaning.

“After that it worked like a charm, and there was no charge for his time and material!

“Big box stores are not always the way to go — it pays to support your local merchants.”

Special People Dept.

Evasive action

Liz Treppendahl adds to our seminar on overused phrases with a suggestion on how to deal with a common one (although I’m not sure it’s approved by Miss Manners):

“When someone starts a conversation by saying ‘To make a long story short …,’ you immediately interject ‘Too late …’

“Boredom averted!”

Extreme golf

Algie Petrere has this week’s golf story. (I’d call it a golf joke, but from what I know of golfers it may be a true story.)

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine.

He took his 8-iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.

After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves.

As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton!

Joe immediately called out to his friend, “Jack, I’ve got trouble down here!”

“What’s the matter?” Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.

“Bring me my wedge,” Joe shouted. “You can’t get out of here with an 8-iron!”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.