Even in April, football gives back to fans

College football never fails to entertain, even when the games aren’t being played.

Entertainment value, of course, is a matter of perspective.

In College Station, Texas, faces are maroon with embarrassment after a company called Aggieland Outfitters produced an Aggie joke of a T-shirt that had a map of the Southeastern Conference on the front.

What’s so amusing about that?

Problem is the map includes North Carolina among the SEC states, and no Texas or Missouri. Texas is on the back, but even a state as big as Texas isn’t big enough to cover up this geographic faux pas.

North Carolina? Really? Did Wake Forest get awarded a trial SEC membership while no one was looking?

Hey, mistakes happen everywhere, and this column is no exception. But the fact that someone teed up a pre-packaged Aggie joke for the rest of the SEC before Texas A&M even plays its first minute of football probably even made the expansion staff at the SEC office chuckle a little. …

… Nobody in Birmingham is laughing about Alabama’s 2012 BCS crystal football getting shattered. Well, OK, the Auburn fans are rolling across the floor.

In LSU country, the news was more of an “Ah ha!” moment than a side-splitter. “Ah ha” as in the college football gods must have employed an Inspector Clouseau-like incident (“Pardon, Monsieur Saban, but I appear to have grazed your crystal beeaul!”) to tell the Crimson Tide folk that their presence in the BCS championship game was bogus.

It doesn’t mean anything, of course, in the grand scheme. Bama will soon have a new spheroid shipped over from Ireland, and, if it wanted, could pay the $30,000 replacement cost by sweeping up all the little broken shards of Waterford artistry and selling them to rabid Tide faithful for a few hundred a pop.

If your heart doesn’t go out to the Aggieland Outfitters graphic artist, it should go out to Carleton Tinker, the man who knocked over said trophy ball. Tinker is the father of Bama deep snapper Carson Tinker who just finished his eligibility. ...

… College football is more fun with Steve Spurrier in it. And Spurrier is more fun when he knows he has a good team. Adds steam to his zingers.

This is Spurrier’s way of complaining about the South Carolina-Georgia game getting moved from the second week of the season to the sixth:

“I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.”

And this on the Nick Saban football factory at Alabama:

“He’s got a nice little gig going, a little bit like (John) Calipari. He tells guys, ‘Hey, three years from now, you’re going to be a first-round pick and go.’ If he wants to be the greatest coach or one of the greatest coaches in college football, to me, he has to go somewhere besides Alabama and win, because they’ve always won there at Alabama.”

September can’t get here soon enough.