Smiley: Our state grain

Louis L. Martin says a story about a drop in the price of long-grain rice reminds him of the tale of three guys who met for breakfast in a diner before going to their jobs.

One of them was a newcomer to Louisiana, here only three months or so, and he watched with interest as one of his co-workers ordered eggs and the other asked for pancakes.

When the waitress came to take his order, he replied, “All I want is a cup of coffee — and PLEASE don’t put any rice in it!”

Which reminds me

Many years ago, I found myself in Crowley, Louisiana’s rice capital, around lunchtime.

I drove through town but didn’t spot a cafe right away.

This was before smartphones, iPads, etc., so I stopped and called the telephone operator from a pay phone.

I asked her for the name of a good downtown restaurant, and the young lady (who seemed very young indeed) said she didn’t know of one right off hand.

“Well,” I asked, “where do YOU eat lunch?”

“I go to my mama’s house.”

“OK, where does your mama live?”

It took her a confused moment to realize I was kidding. …

A woman’s view

Patrice Lemoine adds this explanation of a TV commercial discussed here recently:

“Of course it would take a woman to explain the commercial about the dog who finds the lady so the guy can give her the lost scarf.

“The man in the commercial had already met the woman earlier in the day. They had spoken, had a lovely conversation and exchanged information.

“Somehow she accidentally left her scarf on the park bench where they had been sitting.

“The man didn’t notice till after she was gone. He retrieved the scarf, and with the help of his best friend (the dog), the man was able to get it back to her.

“He didn’t want to seem like a stalker, so he quickly left. He will call her in a couple of days for an official date.

“Or he was gay. My friend said no straight man is that thoughtful — except my husband, of course!” (Nice save, Patrice. …)

Remote control

Terri Karam Willett advises the reader who asked for a translation of British TV shows, “It’s right there on your remote. Closed captioning for the hearing impaired is how my sweet hubby, Hunter, enjoys many a PBS broadcast.

“His persistent complaint is, ‘Those danged Brits can’t speak English!’ Gotta love that boy. …”

That’s soil, folks!

Chris Caballero, of Donaldsonville, offers “a real-life story that is literally AND figuratively true:

“I run a fill material company near Donaldsonville, and a friend of mine did some work for me in exchange for a few loads of dirt.

“That’s what you call working ‘dirt cheap.’

“My company slogan, thanks to Frank Marcello, is now ‘We don’t sell cheap dirt, we sell dirt cheap.’ ”

Musicians wanted

Louis Lipinski says you’re invited to take part in the Farmers Market Bluegrass Jam at Red Stick Farmers Market:

“We meet on the second and fourth Saturday of every month and play from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

“We start right after the cooking demonstration, so everyone who comes early gets a free gourmet meal.

“Anyone who plays, sings or simply enjoys bluegrass music is cordially invited. There is no age limit. There is no requirement of instrumental proficiency. There’s no cover charge, so all you gotta do is pay attention.”

Thank-you note

Glenn Giro, of Denham Springs, says, “With the recent passing of my mother-in-law, I wanted to take the opportunity to thank the staff, attendants, doctors and nurses at Carpenter House.

“Their primary concern was always for the patient, and I wish to commend them for their efforts and attitudes. Their care for her and for us was appreciated.”

Special People Dept.

Thomas Fike, of Williamsburg Retirement Community, celebrates his 95th birthday on Wednesday. He is a World War II Navy veteran.

Isaiah Johnson Sr. celebrates his 90th birthday on Wednesday. He is a World War II veteran.

Getting fresh

Richard Guidry, of Zachary, says he was reading the for-sale ads in the farm and garden section of Craigslist when he saw an ad offering “Freshly Made Fertilizer” for sale.

Fab cities

Ronnie Stutes says, “I hear the supporters of the incorporation of the city of St. George have encountered another obstacle — a challenge by a group seeking to remove the word ‘Saint’ from the names of secular entities such as municipalities.

“I understand the St. George folks have joined with St. Paul, Minnesota, as well as St. John, Nevada, and its sister city, Reno, in an effort to defeat the challenge and keep their cities from being known as simply John, Paul, George and Reno.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com.

He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.