Sep 2, 2014 07:24 Smiley: Pies, apples, chips Smiley: Pies, apples, chips smiley anders Sept. 02, 2014 Comments After I received comments from readers about “cow pies” and “horse apples,” I requested that we change the subject. But evidently my readers don’t listen to me. … Terri Karan Willett says, “If a horse and a cow fall in love, get married and have a baby, then their offspring would leave ‘apple pies!’ ” Michael Eldred, of Tylertown, Mississippi, says, “I’m not sure about horse apples and cow pies, but I’m sure llamas make llama beans.” Helen Crouse says, “They are called ‘cow patties’ in the West, Midwest and Pennsylvania. We heard many stories about young ones collecting frozen patties for heating fuel at home and at school in the ‘good ol’ days.’ ” Ted McNeel Sr., a native Texan, says in Texas and Oklahoma they’re called “cow chips” and there are annual chip throwing contests in Amarillo, Texas, and Beaver, Oklahoma: “Beaver claims to be ‘The Cow Chip Throwing Capital of the World’ and says they have the oldest such competition anywhere.” Geary Perkins says, “As a member of the volunteer West Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Mounted Posse for 29 years, we ride in many parades but primarily Port Allen, Addis and New Roads, multiple times. “We always ride last in the parade — for some reason.” Which reminds me Many years ago, rodeo season in Baton Rouge was marked by a Rodeo Parade, featuring numerous riding groups, floats, bands, etc. I took part in these parades as a cymbalist with the Istrouma High marching band and the LSU ROTC military band. There were many, many horses in these parades, and all of them seemed to be in front of the bands. I developed such fancy footwork during these parades that I’m sure I could have won “Dancing With the Stars” if it had been around at that time — and I had been a star. … The ugly years Al Bethard, of Lafayette, says the building across from the Hotel Bentley in Alexandria, which Jerry Moses mentioned in his account of Earl Long’s last campaign, was the Alexandria City Hall, “a lovely turn of the 20th-century beaux arts structure. “Sadly, that beautiful building was torn down in the early ’60s and replaced by one of the ugliest modern buildings I have ever seen. “At about the same time, the same thing happened in Lafayette and Franklin. “The beautiful old parish courthouses in those towns were replaced with incredibly ugly buildings.” True Confessions Dept. Earl Newman, a 1962 Istrouma High grad, says in his senior year, when Istrouma had a football game at Fair Park in Shreveport, he and his buddy Randy Anding decided to take in the game: “Istrouma passed out a memo offering a $15 bus ride from the IHS campus to the game (I think it also included the game ticket). “Well, I got the money from my parents but didn’t register for the bus ride. Randy couldn’t get his parents to fork over, so we decided to hitchhike to the game. “We caught a ride with a gentleman who brought us to the stadium (pretty sure it was out of his way). “We used my $15 to purchase root beer (of course we had a fake ID). “After the game, we were in Shreveport at midnight and didn’t have a way to get home — no money left. “We had some coeds sneak us on a girls-only bus, and we crouched under the seats near the back. The girls kept tight-lipped and hid us with their legs dangling down while they sat there. “We got our ride back to Baton Rouge. Once we were on the way, they discovered us but thankfully didn’t throw us off the bus. “My parents were never the wiser, although I seem to remember getting 15 licks with a paddle on Monday at school. “Ah, the vagaries of youth. …” Special People Dept. Ruth Rowley Olivier, of Metairie, celebrates her 100th birthday on Saturday. Retha Giroir celebrates her 92nd birthday on Friday. Clarence “Todd” and Jo Ann Poché celebrate 50 years of marriage on Friday. Worthy causes On Sunday, a “blues benefit” for Jesse Kinchen, former drummer for Slim Harpo, will be held from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. at Phil Brady’s. Jesse lost all his personal belongings in a house fire. The $20 donation includes food, plus music by James Johnson and Oscar David, and an all-star jam featuring Baton Rouge’s finest blues artists. Thought for the Day From Richard Guidry, of Zachary: “Sometimes the thoughts in your head get bored and go for a stroll out of your mouth. Never a good thing!” Aging process “Roddy” poses this question: “How is World Cup soccer like old age? “A lot of falling down and very little ‘scoring!’ ” Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.