Jul 18, 2013 22:56 Smiley: Some old stuff Smiley: Some old stuff smiley anders| July 18, 2013 Comments (While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, he hopes you enjoy tales from past columns, especially the bar jokes:) Thought for the Day From Marie Deer: “Why did God create man before woman? Because you’re always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.” Question of the Week A landscaping etiquette inquiry from Robby Zeringue: “If I don’t own one of those high-decibel leaf blowers, can I just rake the leaves out into the street instead of bagging them?” It quacked me up! From Richard Guidry, of Zachary: “A duck walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. “The bartender pours the drink and says, ‘That’ll be $2.’ “The duck says, ‘Just put it on my bill.’” Odd couple From Chet Siemion, of Denham Springs: “A guy walks into a bar, takes a stool, orders a drink, then takes his hat off and sets it on the bar. “The bartender looks up and sees, growing out of the top of the guy’s head, a duck. “ ‘How in the world did that happen?’ gasps the bartender. “And the duck says, ‘Well, it all started with a wart on my behind …’ ” Wooden you know it? I knew my bar jokes would resurrect this old one. Dale J. Landry was the first of many to offer it: “A termite walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’ ” Then there’s the less well-known sequel: A beaver walks into a bar and says, “The termite sent me.” Bad to the bone From Perry Brandao: “A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender asks, ‘What’ll you have?’ “The skeleton replies, ‘A beer — and a mop.’” Collision course The contributor of this item is anonymous, for some reason: “Two men walked into a bar. “You would think the second one would have ducked.” Stop the madness! Continuing our series on bar jokes, despite the public outcry: From John Logerot Jr.: “A grasshopper walks into a bar. “The bartender says, ‘Welcome to O’Malley’s. Did you know that we have a drink named after you?’ “Amazed, the grasshopper asks, ‘You have a drink named Fred?’ ” Weighty topic Linda Champion says, “My kindergartners at Gonzales Primary were reciting their favorite nursery rhymes when Jana told us hers: “ ‘Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curves away.’ “I wonder if it was fast food!” Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com.