Smiley: Tot tech support

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Peggy Harris, of Denham Springs, says, “A few days before Mother’s Day, my husband gave me an iPad mini.

“That afternoon, my son and granddaughter came by and I showed them my new gift.

“I told them I hope I can learn how to use it.

“Gabrielle came over to me and patted my shoulder and said very sympathetically, ‘Maw-Maw, it will be OK; I’ll teach you how to use it.’

“Oh, by the way, did I tell you that she just finished kindergarten?”

Every town has one

Carl Spillman says our seminar on creative names of bars reminds him of the time he lived in New Orleans and the neighborhood establishment was referred to as “The House of Knowledge.”

He says, “It got its name because you could not ask a question in there and not get an answer. It did not matter if the question was about a ballplayer or nuclear physics — you got a full-blown explanation from someone.

“No wives were allowed, and any phone calls were answered with ‘He ain’t here.’

“Needless to say, the wives hated the place.

“I transferred to Baton Rouge, and a couple weeks later made a stop after work with the boys and shot a few games of pool at a local lounge.

“As I was walking out the door the next morning, I was asked for the name of the joint.

“I answered, ‘The Alibi.’

“As the door was closing, I distinctly heard, in a tone that only a wife can use, ‘My God …’

“If I remember correctly, those were the only words I heard for a couple of days.”

Mistaken identity

Amy Wise Watson comments on the recent mention of LSU Law School prof Frank Maraist by a former student:

“I just read about the grueling lectures of Dr. Maraist. I’ve heard they were legendary!

“I once saw a different side of him, though, and it was ME who scared HIM!

“I was friends with his daughter Catherine during our high school days at Baton Rouge Magnet High (Class of 1984).

“I spent the night at her house once, and real early in the morning, I felt a man’s hand on my head, and a whispered ‘Good morning, sweetheart’ close to my ear.

“When I turned over and Dr. Maraist saw a stranger and not his beloved daughter, he high-tailed it out of that room!

“So … he may have scared some law students, but I scared him in his own home!”

Smart as a Pistol

Chuck, commenting on our items about banks who give out dog treats, says, “My yellow Lab, Pistol, goes with me everywhere I go.

“Some of the Chase banks give dog treats and some do not.

“At the branches that give them out, Pistol is in my lap with his head out of my window by the time we pull up to the bank window.

“At the branches that do not give out treats, Pistol stays on his side of the seat.

“I still have not figured out how he knows which ones give them and which ones don’t!”

The Georgia way

Fay Hoffman Talbot says she dined with her sister recently at Huey’s in Savannah, Ga.:

“The restaurant is named after Huey Long and is known for its Louisiana dishes.

“The couple next to us ordered dessert, and were served two beignets in a gumbo bowl with a container of praline sauce for dipping. (The waitress called it PRAY-lean sauce.)

“They proceeded to eat the beignets with a fork, breaking off bite-sized portions to dip.

“They left one whole beignet on their plate. I was tempted …”

Hometown Heroes

Pat Sicard says that’s the theme of the Kenilworth Independence Day Parade at 6:30 p.m. Wednesday.

The grand marshal is Collis Temple Jr., former LSU basketball star.

Dr. Max Scott, International Atomic Energy Agency tech expert, is resident of the year.

Go to parade@kenilworthneighborhood.com.

Have a pet

Friends of the Animals has opened an adoption house at 8476 Highland Road, open from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday and from 9 a.m. to noon Saturday and Sunday.

Or you can adopt at Orvis in Perkins Rowe from noon to 3 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays.

Special People Dept.

Justin and Betty Bozeman celebrate 58 years of marriage Monday.

Bride on the run

Joe Cooper says this is a true story, although he still finds it a little hard to believe:

“Thursday evening, en route to the St. James Lodge meeting downtown, I encountered a group of joggers on Perkins Road at City Park, heading south.

“There was a young lady running, fully attired in a white wedding gown, carrying her shoes.

“You think she was headed to St. Aloysius — singing ‘Get Me To the Church On Time?’”

A chilling thought

Sue Sperry says, “At the Daiquiri Bay Café in Metairie, the current enticement for a fresh brew is a sign reading ‘Our beer is as cold as your ex’s heart.’

“Now that is darn cold beer!”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.