Smiley: Sex and gators!

This is what I love about you people.

You can take anything silly in this column and turn it into something even sillier.

For example, after a reader wondered in the Saturday column about how you could tell a female alligator from a male, I got these two responses:

From Robin Roshto: "In response to the letter you received asking how to determine the sex of an alligator, I have an easy solution.

"Two signs are put up on opposite sides of the pond.

"One sign reads ‘Giant Shoe Sale'; the other reads ‘Free Beer.'

"Then all one need do is watch to see which way the gator swims."

From Anne Butler, of St. Francisville: "Re how to tell the sex of an alligator:

"The wonderful Black Guidry, who has been known to pull out an accordion and serenade the gators on ‘A Cajun Man's Swamp Tour' near Houma, always says you must examine the belly of the alligator - because a female will have a little pouch there to hold her credit cards."

Monsieur Frottoir

Saturday's "Night at the Louisiana Museum: Year of Louisiana Music" at Baton Rouge's Louisiana State Museum was a most enjoyable event: good music, food, drinks and affable company - everything you need for a successful soiree.

But to me the highlight of the evening was observing Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne playing the zydeco rub-board (or "frottoir") with Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band.

It wasn't the first time he's sat in with Chubby and the guys: in 2012 he performed at a Louisiana-themed block party in downtown Memphis before an NBA game between the Memphis Grizzlies and the New Orleans Hornets (now Pelicans).

Saturday's performance was a fine one - he played with enthusiasm, kept up with the fast-paced beat and even did a little dance as he rubbed.

As I watched I had this thought:

If, as is rumored around the Capitol, Jay does indeed make a run at the Governor's Office, and if he wins, he would be our most musical governor since Jimmie "You Are My Sunshine" Davis.

Funny business

Terri Karam Willett, in a variation of our seminar on clever names of businesses, tells of two memorable business slogans:

"When I lived in the Frozen Nawth of Galesburg, Ill., home of Carl Sandburg and Knox College (a Lincoln-Douglas debate site), there were two companies with fantastic logos on their trucks.

"One was a cement company whose huge mixers were emblazoned with ‘Get a Load of This!'

"The other was a curbside garbage service whose huge trucks had slogans proclaiming ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed or Twice Your Trash Back!'

"Who said Yankees didn't have a sense of humor!"

Life imitates art

After a reader told of discovering a "Curl Up ‘n' Dye" hair salon in Columbia, I heard from a reader who points out that it was the name of the hair salon in the 1989 movie "Earth Girls Are Easy," which I recall as a slapstick sci-fi comedy with Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans, among others.

Friends come through

Sarah Sylvest, of Clinton, thanks all the friends of her daughter, Jenny Forest:

"Jenny just recently lost her husband Tommy to cancer.

"Her friends helped make those dreadful trips to M.D. Anderson more pleasant; her friends comforted her; and her friends made possible her dream of a ‘grande' send-off for Tommy.

"Jenny's friends are my heroes."

Special People Dept.

Rita and Emile Sander, of Slidell, celebrated 58 years of marriage Monday.

On Monday, Pete and Pat Galik celebrated their 55th anniversary.

Manuel and Sandra Garza celebrated their 53rd anniversary Monday.

How dare they!

Dee Dee Daigle is upset:

"In my recent holiday travels, venturing through other states, I saw a bumper sticker that just ‘got my goat.'

"While passing through that big red ‘A' state, I gazed upon this: ‘Reauxl Tide.'"

(Well, Dee Dee, I suppose a Cajun COULD have gone to Alabama…still, it just seems WRONG...)

Bottom feeders

Ernie Gremillion says, "I've concluded that the fastest-growing occupation in the TV industry today is that of a writer on a reality show."

(You mean somebody actually WRITES that, uh,
stuff …?)

No comment

"I am 88 years old, and my wife Mary is a year younger," says Ben Clyde Bennett, of Marksville.

"We keep a pool table in the bedroom, and play at least three times a week."

Ben calls it "a way to continue to have fun in the bedroom."

(I can't think of anything I could say about this that wouldn't get me in trouble …)

Write Smiley at Smiley@the
advocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.