Smiley Anders for Dec. 20, 2012

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(While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, he left behind some goodies from a decade or so ago:)

Now Mama’s sick

“The millennium children have spoken,” says Christina Bedgood, of Galvez:

“I was having a conversation with my 8-year-old son Joshua about a time some months back when he had been sick.

“He remembered the stomach problems vividly, and asked what had been wrong with him.

“I said, ‘You probably just had a virus.’

“He then, in the most serious and naive tone, said, ‘I thought only computers had viruses.’

“I couldn’t help but feel I was the naive (and ancient) one.”

Cruel, unusual education

Cheryl Bruno says the day grandson Braeden, 5, started kindergarten, he and his mom, Carey, came over for dinner:

“When it was time for them to go, his mother told him they had to leave early because it was a school night.

“He said, ‘Oh no! You mean I have to go to school at NIGHT, too?’ ”

Thought for the Day

From Richard Guidry, of Zachary:

“Regular naps prevent old age — especially if you take them while driving.”

Sign language

Mel Prust saw this sign in a loan company window:

“Now you can borrow enough money to get completely out of debt!”

Defining moment

Lydia Pourciau has this “definition for moms”:

Dumb waiter: “One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.”

Thought for the Day

From Steve Bezet:

“You know it’s time to evaluate your wardrobe when you see a rodeo clown wearing your favorite tie.”

An even better rule

Bennellon “Bennie” Poche Webb says husband J.W. enjoys taking their grandchildren to eat at local restaurants and teaching them the rules of proper dining.

At a meal at their son’s house, J.W. saw grandson Luke, 6, put a large helping on his plate.

Luke was asked about Grandad’s dining rule, and was expected to reply, “You can order anything you want, but you have to eat it all.”

But instead the lad looked up and sweetly replied, “Always hug the waitress!”

Tale of life, death, sex

Jack Terry, of Morgan City, says, “I stopped at a friend’s house the other day and found him stalkin’ around with a fly swatter.

“When I asked if he was gettin’ any flies, he answered, ‘Yeah, I got three males and two females.’

“Curious, I asked him how he could tell the difference.

“He answered, ‘Three of ’em were on a beer can and two were on the phone.’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.