Smiley Anders for Nov. 1, 2012

With Hurricane Sandy, campaign mudslinging and a big Saints loss, this hasn’t been a particularly pleasant few days.

But Al Tircuit, who recently returned from a trip to Washington, D.C., feels good about the future of our nation.

Here are his reasons for this optimism:

1. “We stayed at a great hotel, where the Southern-style breakfast included biscuits and grits.

2. “On the way to the airport for the flight home, our lady cab driver with a Caribbean accent was listening to an Elvis CD.

“We do live in a great country.”

(Further proof that, in the words of Brother Dave Gardner, the earth is a Southern planet.)

A tip of the hat

Members of the U.S. Army Reserve’s 540th Transportation Detachment, which deployed on Jan. 7 to Afghanistan, are returning home Thursday, an Army spokeswoman says.

Five troops are scheduled to return late Thursday night and one Thursday morning at Baton Rouge Metro Airport, said Capt. Kim Knight.

The 540th Transportation Detachment is a movement control team under the 321st Sustainment Brigade based in Baton Rouge.

They have our heartfelt gratitude for their sacrifice to our country.

Living with conflict

Ernie Gremillion says, “Recently in Wal-Mart, I observed a young couple wearing NFL jerseys with names on the back: She with ‘Urlacher’ (Brian Urlacher, linebacker for the Chicago Bears) and he with ‘Brees’ (Drew Brees, quarterback for the Saints).

“I couldn’t help but comment to them that when those two get together, it usually results in a violent collision.

“This was met with a response from the lady of, ‘Yes, we know.’ ”

Beasts of burden

Malcolm Wright terms the signs at the corner of Kenilworth and Boone “absolute prevarications.”

He says, “They show a pair of silhouettes of a boy and a girl walking bolt upright, each carrying a small lunch box or book bag.

“The signs are supposedly school crossing signs for students coming and going from nearby Kenilworth Middle Science and Technology School.

“But how can the kids possibly understand something they have never seen in their lives?

“Like pack animals, modern children go to school these days hunched over under 40 pounds of backpack, a second book bag or purse and a laptop computer.

“They surely don’t know what those signs mean.”

Tote those toads

David Fisher, of Lafayette, says, “Growing up and living in Louisiana all my life, I have heard and used the term ‘tote sack’ but pronounced it ‘toad sack.’”

David assumes “tote” is the correct designation for the bag, and that it’s pretty much a Southern thing.

But he wonders, given the popularity of frog legs in south Louisiana, if “toad sack” might also be in use down here. …

(Thanks a lot, David — now you’ve got me craving a big platter of fried frog legs. …)

You can book it

After I mentioned the removal of the purple book bins from Kean’s locations, some readers wanted to know the dates of the Friends of the LSU Libraries’ Book Bazaar.

The bazaar, one of Baton Rouge’s most popular events, takes place Feb. 28 through March 2.

Parade time

New Roads’ Veterans Day Parade takes place Saturday at 10 a.m. Main Street. There’s a veterans breakfast from 8:30 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. at St. Paul’s Holy Trinity Episcopal Church. Call [phone] or go to ljones@cityof
newroads.net.

Worthy causes

On Sunday, the 11th annual New Orleans Kidney Walk will be held at Audubon Park, Shelter No. 10, with registration at 8 a.m. and the walk at 9:30 a.m.

The 2.2-mile stroll “raises funds to fight kidney disease through prevention, advocacy and education.”

Call the National Kidney Foundation of Louisiana at [phone] or visit http://www.kidneywalk.org.

Special People Dept.

Mark and Loraine Bruner celebrate 70 years of marriage Thursday.

Make ’em laugh

Janet L. Schilling is glad someone at her Piggly Wiggly grocery store has a sense of humor, making shopping less of a chore.

She always checks her receipt after her purchases are scanned, and was amused to see one of the listed items: “boneless bananas.”

She says, “Imagine my relief that I had picked up the boneless ones, because I certainly was not paying enough attention to notice those bone-in bananas. …”

He’s got pull

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, offers this definition:

Dental X-ray: Preview of coming extractions.

Educational experience

Bob Downing, having cut himself while shaving, says he went to the drug store “and asked the nice clerk where I could find a styptic pencil.

“She said, ‘If we have any they would be on Aisle 7.’

“But I couldn’t find any in school supplies.”

Cheer up, punsters

I knew when I mentioned bad puns the other day that I’d be hearing from people like Randy East. He offers this one:

“The cheerleader rushed into the classroom asking, ‘Is this Rah, Rah, Rah 101?’

“ ‘No,’ replied the professor, ‘This is Sis, Boom, Bah 202. You’re obviously looking for a course of a different holler.’ ”

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.