“Who says getting old can’t be funny?” asks Bobbye Clements:
“Being two months shy of my 86th birthday, I have a lot of hearing problems.
“I had the following conversation with my niece a few nights ago.
“Said niece lives and works in Atlanta for a health insurance company.
“Niece: ‘This past week was really brutal at work, and on Friday I had to bring home a whole bunch of letters, so I …’
“(At this point one my hearing synapses misfired and the next word I heard was ‘Stephanopoulos.’)
“Me (mystified): ‘Why on earth was your company writing a bunch of letters to HIM? Was there something in the news about Obamacare, or what?’
“Niece (equally mystified): ‘Him? WHO?’
“After hearing what I THOUGHT she had said, her whoops and shrieks of hysteria finally died down, and she gasped, ‘I spent the weekend STUFFING ENVELOPES!’
“Poor guy. Guess he will forevermore be known in my household as ‘George Stuffingenvelopes.’ ”
I was prepared to disagree with this statement by Shlomo Pielstick-Kennedy: “It’s easy to see why LSU won last weekend. It’s because the South Carolina players were wearing the ugliest uniforms in the history of football.”
I doubted that a football team could lose a game based on its wearing of hideous uniforms.
Then I recalled that last year LSU also beat the Oregon Ducks. …
Speaking of football, Larry Sylvester says reader Larry Conkerton was correct (in the Tuesday column) in saying that Doug Moreau, the LSU radio broadcast color guy, “would explain what was happening during a football game, and would do it much better than the TV announcers.”
He adds this caveat:
“However, let the listener beware: The radio description of the play is usually over before the TV depiction begins. It seems that radio is just a few seconds faster than TV.
“Someone who does not understand football to begin with could get that much more confused by the offset in time.”
Loretta Toussant says, “I know you said no more old sayings, but I had to tell you that I’ve been told that a certain business owner here in the grand metropolis of Baker can ‘talk a cat off of a fish truck!’ ”
One of Baton Rouge’s longest-running charity events takes place on Saturday when the 63rd annual Downtown Kiwanis Pancake Festival, Talent Contest and Art Show happens from 6 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at LSU’s Pete Maravich Assembly Center.
Proceeds support a variety of youth and community activities.
Tickets are $5, or $6 at the door. Bob or Pam Downing can be contacted for advance tickets at (225) 766-3820 or (225) 892-1849.
As Robert Collins describes the event: “All the pancakes you can eat, plus Manda sausage, Community Coffee and Kleinpeter milk. It just doesn’t get much Baton Rougier than that.”
Inez Campanella thanks Jan Weaver, her “angel” who rescued her when she couldn’t find her car after a luncheon at Pennington Biomedical Research Center:
“I felt panic sweep over me as I looked frantically about for my car.
“She offered to help, and we drove through several of the parking lots until we found it.
“Yes, Jan Weaver, you were my angel that day, and I’m so grateful to you.”
Special People Dept.
- Edna Noble, of Central, reached her 90th birthday Tuesday and will celebrate on Sunday with lunch at a Mexican restaurant with friends.
- Ed and Willery Capron celebrated their 70th anniversary Wednesday.
- Martha and Charlie Haase celebrate their 60th anniversary Thursday.
True, but useless
John F. McKay says, “My grandson James, age 6, is a football fan who watches all the college games starting Saturday at 11 a.m.
“He was watching football on TV when I called to speak to him last weekend.
“I asked who was playing, and he answered, ‘The green team and the white team.’
“I asked what the score was, and he answered, ‘23-14.’
“I finally asked which team was winning, and he said, ‘The team I am pulling for.’
“I got answers to the questions asked — but gained little knowledge.”
Jim Cook, another grandparent who encountered the generation gap, tells this tale:
“My 20-year-old granddaughter was working on The Advocate’s daily crossword puzzle at breakfast when she asked me the name of the Lone Ranger’s sidekick.
“‘Tonto,’ I told her.
“She asked, ‘Was he Japanese?’ ”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.