Smiley Anders for Oct. 6, 2012

Dear Smiley: Lady Gaga is in the headlines of late due to a weight gain.

Her publicist explains that Lady’s father (Papa Gaga?) has an excellent restaurant, and thus has the performer “increased her presence,” shall we say.

But we all know how she came to possess this new development!

It was when she came to south Louisiana to visit her beau on his movie set.

Every few hours it was recorded that Lady Gaga was eating here, eating there, having takeout, drive-through daiquiris and more.

I guess it sounds better to advertise for her father and seem like a good girl who cleans her plate.

That’s easier to explain than the fabulousness of our local cuisine.

She must still be in shock over her discovery of real food in what must seem like an unlikely, unsophisticated place.

Bon appetit!

DELLA STOUT

Baton Rouge

Who needs Starbucks?

Dear Smiley: As a clergyman, one of my favorite responsibilities is ministering with people in hospital settings.

Recently I was with a family in the waiting area of the hospital in our fair town.

A vehicle pulled up near the entrance, disgorging a very disheveled man.

He entered, and headed directly to the coffee bar. After he loaded up, he returned to his car and drove away.

Guess he was late for breakfast at the nursing home.

DR. GREG DAVIS

Zachary

The paper chase

Dear Smiley: Monday was my first day of home delivery of The Advocate.

I took my paper to my local Starbucks, and got lots of questions about it.

Thanks to The Advocate staff for providing what I need, a DAILY newspaper.

Yes, I have all of the electronic gadgets and know how to use them, but I need PAPER.

LYNNE POURCIAU

Harvey

Newspaper magnate

Dear Smiley: I started delivering the Morning Advocate when I was 9 years old in 1945.

I picked up my papers at 5:30 a.m. at Joe Felps Garage and delivered on my Columbia bicycle.

In later years the Holsum bread truck would bring the papers, and Tony’s doughnuts, to Hud’s Café.

I advanced from my bicycle to a Cushman motor scooter with a sidecar, then to a Harley-Davidson 165.

In 1953 I purchased a new Chevrolet Bel Air. I was in the 11th grade.

This got me through 1954, when I retired from my route to go to Southeastern.

This was my first job, and I learned a lot. I cannot imagine not having a newspaper to hold and read.

And besides that, you can’t fold and throw the Internet.

JOHN POWELL JR.

Retired banker and paperboy

Clinton

Moving advice

Dear Smiley: We need a few “Cajunisms” in your collection of old sayings.

My grandmother once said to me, “Qui prendre mari, prendre pays.” (My apologies for imperfect spelling and grammar.)

This was on the occasion of my getting married and lamenting having to move all the way to New Iberia (10 miles away).

The rough translation is, “You take a husband, you take his country.”

JOYCE FIRMIN

New Iberia

That tiger song

Dear Smiley: During pregame activities at the LSU football games, fans sing the national anthem and the LSU alma mater.

Perhaps you could encourage your readers to write an LSU fight song based upon that famous “Pom, pom pom, pom” rhythm and send the best song to LSU’s president and Board of Supervisors for adoption.

KAREN POIRRER

Lutcher

Dear Karen: Actually, the “poms” are the opening lines of “Tiger Rag” (“Hold that ti-ger”). So you could say it’s already an LSU fight song, although a very old one — dating back to 1917, when it was recorded by the Original Dixieland Jass Band (they changed it to “Jazz” later that year).

This gland is your gland

Dear Smiley: About old sayings:

Can’t imagine why someone hasn’t come up with this saying: “Faster than a goat going through Del Rio, Texas.”

Old-timers can remember the details pertaining to the radio charlatan Dr. Brinkley, which involved transplanting goat glands for men who were impotent.

CHARLIE DORE

Manvel, Texas

Say it with music

Dear Smiley: After reading the story by Chapman Morgan (no relation) about musical instruments, I was reminded of a couple who wanted their children to be musicians.

They named their first daughter Amanda Lynne. Then they named their second daughter Claire Annette.

J.P. MORGAN

Geismar

Dear J.P.: And their third daughter, I would guess, was named Banjoan. …

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.