You have to love a story that starts out, “They were told not to put the toad in the truck!”
Linda Dalferes tells the rest of the story:
“While roaring down the interstate, the toad jumped onto Mama’s leg, and you can imagine what happened then.
“Cut to ‘time out’ in their rooms for putting the thing in the truck, then making up a story about how it got there.
“When the boys, ages 10 and 6, came out of ‘time out,’ they were asked what they had learned from all of this.
“Joseph, the 6-year-old, replied, ‘I learned that if you want to take a toad home, bring a box.’ ”
Shakespeare by stealth
Roy Pitchford, of Monroe, recalls this from his days as an Advocate editor:
“Several decades ago, students had to take three high school English courses to get a Louisiana diploma, but the East Baton Rouge Parish School Board wanted to require four.
“One board member loudly opposed it, saying students didn’t need all the Shakespeare they got in senior English.
“The Advocate’s Joe Planas wrote a column that supposedly debated the two sides.
“But savvy readers quickly realized it contained dozens of Shakespeare quotes.”
The Cameroon bomb
After Keith Horcasitas mentioned his contributions to “Hints from Heloise,” he recalled another popular column:
“ ‘Ask A. Labas’ was in the Times-Picayune when I was a freshman at De La Salle High School in New Orleans in 1973.
“We had a ‘United Nations’ project where we had to represent a country advocating for an issue which at the time was big for us: nuclear arms.
“I had the country of Cameroon — not exactly a big threat back then nor now for nukes.
“A. Labas was very nice, and published my predicament of pretending to represent such a country with such a pretentious concern!
“He listed a consulate contact in New Orleans to get more info for my project about the country and general references to nuclear disarmament.”
Bloody good remedy
Two readers came up with the same solution for tomato growers with squirrel problems.
Tom Toddy says, “I found that people who live in areas with a large squirrel population and experience no squirrel/tomato problems are people who have a CAT!”
And Mary Ann Vidrine says, “I know the answer to the dilemma of squirrels eating the veggies in a garden.
“Get a young, outside alley cat and start feeding it. Then you can see the cat eat the squirrels.
“Works great, but you have to have a strong stomach to watch the feline carnivore at work.”
Pheobe Thompson says, “At church Sunday, I had numerous people tell me they had seen my daughter, Dr. V. Elaine Thompson, on CBS.
“She was shown in clips from her performance on ‘Jeopardy’ last year during a ‘CBS Morning News’ interview with Alex Trebek.
“I missed the newscast. It’s ironic that most weeks the only time I turn on my TV is at 4:30 p.m. — to watch ‘Jeopardy.’ ”
Baton Rouge’s observance of the 29th annual International AIDS Candlelight Memorial is at 6:30 p.m. Sunday at A.Z. Young Park by the State Capitol. With the theme “Promoting Health and Dignity Together,” it features a candlelight vigil and memorial walk, free HIV testing, speakers and food, plus music by the Michael Foster Project (“Second line” tunes during the walk) and the New Orleans Gay Men’s Chorus.
The memorial is a project of the HIV/AIDS Alliance for Region II (HAART).
Call (225) 927-1269 or go to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Special People Dept.
- Clyde and Geneva Cockerham celebrate their 73rd anniversary Thursday.
- Jay and Verina Weaver celebrate their 56th anniversary Thursday.
- Richard and Charlene Savoy, of Port Allen, celebrate their 54th anniversary Thursday.
Inquiring Minds Dept.
Joel d’Aquin Thibodeaux says she bought a used cellphone on eBay to replace her old one that wasn’t working:
“It is the exact same model I had been using. I really did not want a smartphone because, strange as it may seem to young folks, I just want to make phone calls on it.
“I figured someone must have wanted to upgrade to a smart phone and traded this one in.
“But does that mean I am now using a DUMB phone?”
Inquiring Minds II
Doug Johnson, of Watson, wants to know why there are “no-tears” shampoos available for babies but not for adults:
“If companies know how to make shampoo that won’t sting the eyes, why do they continue to sell the ones that do?”
Speaking of shampoo, Shirley Fleniken says, “In the shower one morning, I took time to read my shampoo bottle.
“SHOCK — the shampoo that runs down my entire body says ‘for extra volume and body.’
“Seriously, why have I not noticed this before?
“I am going to start using Dawn dish soap. It says, ‘Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.’”
Contact Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com, by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.