Smiley: Their happy marriage

Sabrina Perkins offers this recipe for domestic bliss:

“After reading your column regarding the search for liver and onions, I was reminded of a pact my husband Mike and I made more than 30 years ago prior to our marriage.

“I absolutely abhor any type of liver, including the smell, and he feels the same way about spinach.

“We decided that after our first big fight, he would purchase beef liver and I would buy spinach.

“We would then come home and cook them at the same time to torment the other person.

“While we have had fights, I’m proud to say none have ever been to the proportion needed to put the pact in place.

“We consider this to be our secret to a happy and lasting marriage.”

Getting the brush-off

Marvin Borgmeyer says, “My wife and I have an agreement that when one of us cooks, the other does the dishes.

“I had a recent surgical procedure on my wrist. As I was discharged, the nurse said to be sure to NOT submerge my wrist in water for a week — and gave an example of not doing the dishes.

“On the way home, my wife stopped at a store. I wasn’t sure what she needed, but was surprised when she came out with a long-handled dish brush!

“Either she did not want me to cook for a week, or she did not want to do the dishes for a week!”

Discounted ticket

Alex Crochet says, “Back in the early ’60s, I was burning up U.S. 190 going west, back to Chennault Air Force Base in Lake Charles.

“To my dismay, I look up and see two cables across the highway (pre-radar speed trap) just east of Elton.

“Sure enough, I look up ahead and here was an Elton city cop flagging me down.

“I stopped and rolled the window down, and here is the following verbal exchange:

“ ‘Mais, you were speed’n back dare.’

“ ‘I probably was.’

“ ‘Dat will be $25.’

“ ‘All I have is $15.’

“ ‘Dat’ll do.’ ”

Pet Peeves Dept.

The many ways folks misuse our language irritates others:

Jane Honeycutt, a confessed “former editor,” says, “Lectern and podium are NOT synonymous. You put your notes and hands on a lectern and stand on a podium.”

Also, she says, “Things are different FROM one another; they are NOT different to or than (regardless of what you hear and see in the TV ads).”

And finally, “The word media is a plural noun and takes a plural verb. Print is one medium; TV is another.”

“Carol Anonymous” tells us, “The modifier ‘only’ should be placed next to the word it modifies: ‘I want only two’ instead of ‘I only want two.’ ”

Ronnie Stutes objects to “tenant” being used for “tenet” — for instance, a story saying Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari was adjusting the ‘tenants’ of his offense to the strengths of his young players, and another saying FTC Consumer Protection Director Jessica Rich discussed “a central tenant of consumer protection. …”

Musical interlude

Frank Fronczek, our unpaid music critic, says mention of Wichita and Wichita Falls “reminds me of the early 1980s musical composition, ‘As Falls Wichita, So Falls Wichita Falls.’

“The music has been described as ‘ambient’ and ‘hypnotic’; the title as ‘clever’ and also ‘unfortunate.’ You decide.”

(I somehow missed the song, but I agree with the latter description of the title. …)

Drop your clothes!

Friends of the LSU Textile and Costume Museum is collecting “gently worn” designer and vintage clothing, jewelry and accessories for a Nov. 15 “Friends’ Closet Sale.”

Drop off donations at LSU’s Human Ecology Building from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, July 26, or from noon to 4 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 7. Mignon Faget also accepts donations at the Towne Center location.

Contact Melinda at (225) 578-2281 or mmooney@lsu.edu.

Special People Dept.

Col. Van R. Mayhall Sr., retired Army officer, celebrates his 95th birthday Thursday.

J.C. and Billie Petit celebrate their 63rd anniversary on Thursday.

Tag, you’re it!

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, asks, “Since your readers are IT savvy, I want to know how the pound sign got to be a hashtag. (By the way, what IS a hashtag?)

Sears has centerfolds?

Sarah Stravinska, of Chestnut, comments on Jim Broussard’s lament about Advocate ads aimed at the elderly, and his request for ads geared to a more youthful demographic:

“Jim’s yearning for ads with young ladies selling swimsuits reminded me of a time my young kids had dinner at their little friends’ home.

“My son reported that their dad had a very strange Sears catalog. The ladies in it were not wearing anything … not even underwear.

“ ‘I wonder what they were selling in that ad?’ asked my sweet son.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.