Smiley: Jokers strike!

Vicki Ferstel, The Advocate’s night editor, announced on our website that she’s now doing the “Ask The Advocate” column, in which readers get their questions answered.

She also told her Facebook friends, saying, “So if y’all have any questions that need answering, send them on in!”

She forgot the first rule of social media — a great many Facebook friends are goofballs.

Some questions she received:

Marsanne Golsby: “Where are my red socks?”

Nisey Mayeux: “Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?”

Janet McConnaughey: “What will I be?”

Sam Irwin: “Here’s what Vicki said to me — QUE SERA SERA!”

Steve Culpepper: “Is there a God and if so is this God benevolent or vengeful?”

And one friend asked, “Why don’t Advocate columnists make more money?”

So at least one of the questions was on a serious topic. …

Busted!

Olive M. Campbell, of Greenwell Springs, says, “In the early 1950s, my brother Thomas ‘Moon’ Mullins was in high school at Central.

“He and his friend Robert ‘Bug’ Wise left school to hitchhike to North Baton Rouge.

“A mile or so from the school, a car stopped to pick them up. (There were not a lot of cars traveling Hooper Road in those days.)

“The driver said, ‘Get in, boys.’

“That driver was their principal, Mr. J.A. Smith.

“We heard this story years later from Mr. Smith. He said he did not hear a word from them during the ride.

“When they got to the Hebert store, he asked them where they wanted to get out. They said, ‘Right here, Mr. Smith.’

“He let them out with, ‘Have a good day, boys. I will see you in the office tomorrow morning.’ ”

Man vs. wasp

George E. McLean, of Metairie, says our mention of the guy in Seattle starting a house fire by using a blowtorch against a spider reminded him:

“It was a very slow election day, and I was serving as a commissioner at our local polling place, the neighborhood fire station.

“Around midafternoon, we happened to look across the street and saw smoke rising on the far side of the block.

“We alerted the firemen, and they were preparing to leave when the alarm finally came in.

“The prompt response prevented major damage to the house.

“The cause? Another would-be exterminator with an aerosol can and cigarette lighter.

“It did relieve the monotony of the day.”

Organ recital

A liver-deprived reader says, “Realizing there are other Piccadilly locations, I’d like to know, where else is a good place to get smothered liver and onions in Baton Rouge for lunch now that the venerable Westmoreland location is closed?

“My mother would never cook it, and my wife will not eat it, so the only place I can enjoy it is at a cafe.

“I was an unusual child and would almost always get it at the old Morrison’s in Jackson, Mississippi.

“It was either that or the bright yellow chicken and dumplings they served.”

Which reminds me

I feel your pain, liver-loving reader — my spouse agreed to marry me on the condition that no liver of any kind would ever pass over our threshold.

So I have to content myself with the liver and onions at various Piccadillys. For chicken livers, it’s Church’s.

I was also an unusual child. On Sundays, I would stand by my mom as she fried chicken in her cast-iron skillet and beg for the livers as they came out, hot and crispy. She always obliged — she was a gizzards person, which I never understood.

My dad thought we were both crazy. …

Special People Dept.

G.W. Richardson celebrated his 95th birthday on Monday. He is a World War II veteran.

Evelyn LiRocchi and Anthony P. “Tony” Vidacovich, of New Orleans, celebrated their 75th anniversary on Thursday.

Don and Millie Broussard, of Lafayette, celebrated their 71st anniversary Sunday. Don is a retired Army lieutenant colonel with service in World War II and the Korean War. He is a native of New Iberia; Millie is a native of Abbeville.

Curing our readers

Jim Broussard says, “Just wondering, have the new owners of The Advocate taken lessons from the Internet by ‘target advertising’ their readers?

“Section A of the Monday paper contained two full-page ads for hearing aids and one for back pain relief, plus half-page ads for frequent bathroom trips, more hearing aids, the ‘feel 30 again’ pill and circulation-boosting socks.

“I know I’m old and still read the paper, but I’m sure there are some young people who do the same.

“How about some ads with young ladies selling swimsuits?”

(Our plan, Jim, is to run so many of the kind of ads you mentioned that you’ll be able to have your Advocate subscription covered under your health insurance. …)

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.