Smiley: You got a payen?

As a native of Mississippi, I feel I have a pass to discuss the accent of its residents.

Therefore, I can pass along Glenn Giro’s observations without fear of reprisal from my fellow “Missippians.”

Glenn, of Denham Springs, says he “had a high school teacher who told us she was from ‘Meyus-a-seeyuppi.’

“She wrote on the board: ‘Pin, Pan, Pen’ and proceeded to tell us we would learn the differences in these words.

“My 16-year-old ears heard her say ‘Payen, Payen and Payen.’

“If she hadn’t been pointing to each word as she said it, I would not have known the difference.

“By the way, she was my speech teacher, and I eventually aced the class.”

(But what kind of accent did you come out of it with?)

The retiring kind

Carl Spillman has a suggestion for the retiree who wrote in asking if anyone wanted his 100 or so neckties, which he was no longer required to wear:

“Use them to tie tomatoes.

“The neighbors may think you are a little weird…

“And if that doesn’t blow their mind, just light up the old grill and crack a root beer on Monday mornings a couple of times.”

Community property

Linda Dalferes says, “I had to think quick when hubby asked, ‘Why did you cut back my nandina plant in front of the big window?’

“My reply: ‘I own half of that nandina. I only cut my half — your half is still there.’”

Drink your mayhaw

Jackie Carr, of Slidell, says when she told her yoga instructor she was planning to write a feature story of the Louisiana mayhaw, the source of some exceptional jelly, he suggested another use for the fruit.

Jackie wonders if a “Mayhaw Martini” could be a specialty drink at New Orleans’ famed “Tales of the Cocktail,” a celebration of adult beverages coming up July 16-20.

Crawdad country

T. Med Hogg enters our “crawfish vs. crayfish” discussion with this disclaimer:

“I am not from the Frozen North, but from the Bootheel of Missouri — although it did get 10 below zero one winter.”

He recalls there being no “crawfish” up there, “but plenty of crawdads, which I would catch in the branch.

“I would peel the tails for fish bait, fishing for perch in Pike Creek.

“If we needed more crawdads, we could catch them from the crawdad hole.

“I guess everyone knows the song…”

Fonville memory

Recent comments about the great Baton Rouge photographer Fonville Winans brought back this memory to Roy Pitchford, of Monroe:

“One of my late father’s jobs as a young man in Baton Rouge was a film processor, and in that role he met Fonville.

“The now legendary photographer was also new in town, and had no customers.

“He put an ad in the newspaper saying he would only schedule two portrait sessions a day — and his phone started ringing.”

Inquiring Minds Dept.

Lorrie Dabdoub, of Slidell, wonders if anyone recalls C.W. Stewart’s Dairy in the ’60s.

“It was located around Hammond,” says Lorrie. “My husband Paul worked for them while going to college.

“I can’t find out any history about it.”

Worthy causes

Sponsors are needed for a “Memorial Day Bash” offering free bread and pastries to homeless disabled veterans.

The event is being held by the Veterans Housing Outreach Ministries at 116-118 Byrd Lane in Hahnville on Saturday, March 24, “from 10 a.m. until gone.”

Call Lisa Carey at (504) 340-3429.

A “Memorial Day Remembrance Ceremony” by the USS Kidd Veterans Memorial will be Monday, May 26, at 1 p.m. at the Louisiana Memorial Plaza on River Road in Baton Rouge. The event is free and open to the public.

Call (225) 342-1942 or visit www.usskidd.com.

Special People Dept.

Frank and Carol Frederic, of St. Amant, will celebrate their 57th anniversary on Sunday, May 25 — at the Jambalaya Festival in Gonzales.

The Texas way

Shirley Fleniken passes along the story of the Texas millionaire who fell ill but recovered after treatment by a country doctor.

The Texan told the doctor he was so grateful that, “You name it, and I’ll get it for you.”

“Well,” said the doctor, “I love to play golf with my wife, so a matching set of golf clubs would be fine.”

The doctor didn’t hear from the Texan for some months. Then one day he got a phone call from the millionaire, who explained:

“Doc, I bet you thought I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs.

“The reason it took so long is that one of them didn’t have a swimming pool, and I didn’t think that was good enough.

“So I had a pool installed, and the clubs are all ready for you now!”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.