Smiley: Catfish on a diet?

Mike Romano, of Lake Rosemound, offers an example of how guys go about fishing:

“One day during the Easter holidays as my wife and I were backing down our driveway, we noticed a school bus carrying small children and their parents converging on our neighbors’ lawn.

“We were in a hurry and did not have time to see what was going on.

“However, the next day I stopped and asked our neighbor if his guests had a good time.

“Bill said, ‘Oh yes, we had an Easter egg hunt — and the older kids caught some catfish on the pier.’

“I asked Bill, who doesn’t fish, what kind of bait the kids used and he said, ‘They used wieners, but I didn’t notice if they were fat-free or not.’

“That evening I told my wife that Bill was unsure about the exact type of wieners the kids used and that maybe we could try our luck on our pier.

“I said I would go to the store and purchase packs of both kinds of wieners to be sure we’d catch some catfish.

“When I made this suggestion, she gave me about a 15-second funny look.

“I told her, ‘Well, are you a fish? You know exactly what they are biting on?’

“Smiley, it takes a man to use a high level of psychological strategy to prove a point to a woman.”

Scaling back

Paul Major says, “A number of recent articles about the current legislative session have reported on various references being made to attracting/keeping the ‘best and the brightest.’

“I would like to suggest that based on recent goings-on in the Legislature and various state offices, we might want to start looking at attracting/keeping the ‘reasonable and competent’ instead.”

Change that law!

It’s generally agreed (among my readers at least) that the proper term for crawfish is “crawfish” and not “crayfish,” which is how they say it in the Frozen Nawth.

Ronnie Stutes tells of a state “that has a law called ‘Protection of owners of crayfish farms.’

“It makes it unlawful for any person other than the owner ‘to fish for or to take crayfish from any domestic crayfish farm.’

“Before we get to feeling too superior for knowing the ‘proper’ word, I should note that the state is Louisiana. The law is R.S. 14:226, enacted in 1970.”

Remember the king

Chapman Morgan, a Louisiana native now in Santa Maria, California, says when people ask him how to pronounce our state, “I respond with Justin Wilson’s explanation that it is pronounced ‘Lou-zee-anna,’ because it was named after King Louis of France, not King Lou-easy. Works every time!”

Cutting remarks

Ginger Fons issues a big thank you to Ty at a Government Street barber shop for presiding over a historic occasion — her 3-year-old grandson Luke’s first haircut.

“Luke had never had a full haircut, and in the past, he was afraid of getting his hair cut.

“Ty, with patience, gave Luke the best haircut ever!”

Which reminds me

When we lived in north Baton Rouge back in my elementary school days, I would sometimes accompany my dad to his Saturday morning haircut.

Of course, he didn’t need to get a haircut every week, but his visit to the barbershop for his Saturday trim was a cherished ritual for him.

He would sit around with the other guys, jawing about politics and football — either Istrouma High or LSU — and manage to waste most of the morning that way.

I would occupy myself by reading the copies of Police Gazette that the shop kept for waiting customers.

As I recall, the publications featured lurid crime stories and very attractive young ladies wearing not all that much.

I also recall the barber taking a lot of phone calls as he cut hair, most of them involving sports events.

When I asked my dad why the barber got so many calls, he said it was none of my business.

Special People Dept.

Charles and Carole Pearson celebrated their 58th anniversary on Sunday, May 18.

Commercial fatigue

B. Raymond says, “I think it should be illegal to show the same TV commercial more than 5,000 times!

“Also, I would like to express my sincere appreciation to the several lawyers who pause a TV show to let me know what I’m watching.”

Life at the top

“I ran across this story, which I thought was probably more truth than fiction,” says Algie Petrere:

Since I was the first to arrive at our high-tech company one morning, I answered the telephone.

When the caller asked for field engineering, I explained that it was before normal business hours but that I would help if I could.

“What’s your job there?” the caller asked me.

“I’m the president,” I replied.

There was a pause. Then he said, “I’ll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.