Smiley: Blankety-blank good

Tom Boone, of Gonzales, says, “Mention of Pitt Grill brought to mind the Pitt Grill across the street from the campus of the University of Louisiana at Monroe back when it was Northeast Louisiana University.

“That Pitt Grill made the best strawberry pies in the South.

“A friend and I used to save up to buy an entire pie each about once or twice a month and devour said pie with gusto (pie in hair, eyebrows etc.)

“The owner observed our obvious enjoyment of his pies and decided to have us in a TV commercial promoting his restaurant and strawberry pies.

“We got a free pie each for the commercial, but had to do two takes.

“Because in my excitement I used an adjective describing the deliciousness of the pie not suitable for TV at that time.

“The second take went fine, and we were minor celebrities on campus for a while.

“Man, those were the best *&#!*!# pies. …”

(Tell me, Tom — was there beer involved?)

Speak no evil

Speaking of colorful language, L.P. Miller wonders about something:

“The golfers I know have a vocabulary of their own.

“So I wonder, when preachers go on a golf outing, do they take a layman along to call on after really bad shots — in the water, lost in the woods, assorted unplayables etc.

“Like a designated cusser?”

Speaking of which

L.P. adds, “A preacher I once knew never swore — but he often quoted people who did.”

Books for Mom

After I suggested two books (“Best of Smiley” and “Smiley! A Laughing Matter”) as ideal Mother’s Day presents, Mary Ann Sternbert reminded me there are other books by local writers that also might please Mom — after she reads mine, of course.

Mary Ann says Barnes & Noble CitiPlace hosts LSU Press authors for a “Mother’s Day Weekend” signing from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday.

The authors participating, in addition to Mary Ann, are Mary Manhein, Cindy Nobles, Randy Harrelson, Kelli Scott Kelley, Richard Campanella, Ava Leavell Haymon and Tom Whitehead.

Worthy causes

  • Becky Young tells of a program that offers an opportunity “to provide comfort to those who have just experienced the traumatic death of a loved one.”

Baton Rouge Crisis Intervention Center’s Traumatic Loss Outreach program seeks volunteers. Training provided.

Visit www.brcic.org or call Becky at (225) 924-1431.

She says other volunteer opportunities are available.

    Children’s Hospital’s Psychiatric Facility in New Orleans benefits from a screening of the documentary movie “Legends of the Knight” at 7:30 p.m. Thursday at AMC Elmwood Palace 20, 1200 Elwood Park Blvd., Harahan.

The movie “weaves together true stories of individuals who have overcome devastating obstacles, people who have given back to the community, and embraced their inner superhero because of their love of Batman.”

Visit www.tugg.com/events/8378.

Special People Dept.

  • Theresa Bossier Robert celebrates her 90th birthday on Thursday.
  • Nolan “Country” Ruiz, of Plaquemine, celebrates his 90th birthday on Thursday.

    John and Elsie Levet, of Lutcher, celebrate their 60th anniversary on Thursday.

Last words

Pat Crotty heard entertainer George Jessel’s tombstone reads, “I told you I was sick.”

While those words have graced tombstones on several occasions, I didn’t see them on a photo of Jessel’s mausoleum in Hillside Memorial Park, a Jewish cemetery in Culver City, Calif.

Jessel, once called “America’s Toastmaster General” for his many speeches, also was known for his eulogies.

He claimed to have recorded his own eulogy, but this does not seem to have been the case.

And he proposed this epitaph: “I tell you here from the shade it is all worthwhile.” But I can’t find evidence that it was used.

Speaking of epitaphs

Marlene M. Penick says, “Whenever you asked my brother Dan how he enjoyed various events he attended, his frequent response was, ‘It was great!’

“So it was no surprise that was the epitaph he had ordered for his headstone.”

Final shot

Still speaking of epitaphs, Marc Lauper tells of this one on a tombstone in the old Wild West boomtown, Virginia City, Nevada:

“He called Bill Smith a liar.”

Fat chance

“I am grateful to the humorous people I have contact with. They certainly brighten my life!,” says Tom Toddy.

“I was checking out at the store with only three items: a carton of ice cream, a package of cookies and a box of candy.

“The checkout person took one look at my selections and said, ‘Well, I see you have all the major food groups covered!’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.