Smiley: Call to arms

Into my “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” file went Monday’s Advocate story headlined “Bill proposed to allow lawmakers to tote guns.”

It reminded me of the old story about the candidate for a political office in Mississippi who was soundly trounced by his opponent.

The day after the election he showed up wearing a pistol.

When asked about it, he said he figured if he had that few friends he needed some protection. …

Short-term lease

Ronnie Stutes says, “Apparently the talk about Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari’s ‘renting’ players who go on to the NBA after one year has begun to subconsciously affect sports writers.

“In a story in the Monday Advocate (not by an Advocate writer), Calipari is said to have ‘struggled to adjust the TENANTS of his dribble-drive offense to the strengths of his young, inexperienced players.’ ”

Missing New Orleans

Carl Spillman says our nostalgia items about Domino’s pizza place on St. Charles Avenue in New Orleans “brought back memories of the turtle soup served there.”

He also says, “Any man who moved out of New Orleans back then missed three things:

“1. The Fairgrounds.

“2. The selection of food.

“3. The neighborhood ‘House of Knowledge.’

“Leaving behind two of the three was cause of celebration for the wives, however.”

Taking liberties

Several readers recalled the days when Gordon McLendon’s Liberty radio network would create baseball game broadcasts using wire accounts of the game:

Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, says, “WIBR in Baton Rouge used to air McLendon’s daily play-by-play of Major League Baseball games, complete with crowd noise, vendors yelling, baseball hitting a bat, everything.

“I was happy listening, until one day I changed stations and got the final score of the game I was listening to, which was in the 7th inning.”

And Phil Ragusa says, “One thing I’ve remembered all these years is McLendon saying after a terrific play, ‘I bet he’s as happy as a baby beaver in a toothpick factory!’ ”

Going (wild) hog wild

“I see lawmakers have declared open season on hogs,” says T. Med Hogg about efforts to reduce the state’s feral hog population:

“Almost 100 years ago, people would round up wild hogs, and my grandfather would buy them and ship them in railroad double-deck stock cars to Poplar Bluff, Mo.

“My oldest brother would help drive them from the railroad to an enclosed yard, where there were some woods they could hide in during the day and come out at night to eat the corn left for them.

“After fattening them, he would ship them to the packing plants in East St. Louis.”

Fish story

The St. Joseph’s Academy athletic department benefits from its Seafood Supper at 7:30 p.m. Friday. Call Dorinda Beaumont at (225) 388-2290.

Special People Dept.

Rose Richardson celebrated her 96th birthday on Monday.

Louis Kuttruff celebrated his 94th birthday Monday. He is an LSU graduate and a World War II veteran of the European theater.

Mable McCandless celebrated her 92nd birthday on Monday.

Thomas Miller, of Amber Terrace Assisted Living, celebrated his 91st birthday on Sunday.

Wanda Samson (Mrs. Philip L.) Polozola celebrates her 90th birthday on Tuesday.

Geneva Davis, of Denham Springs, celebrated her on 90th birthday Sunday.

Russell T. Hebert, of New Orleans, celebrated his 90th birthday on Friday. He is a World War II Navy veteran and a retired commercial pilot.

Monkee business

I’m still enjoying our seminar on mangled song titles:

Sheryl Bourdier Sherlock says, “When we were kids (there were six of us), we used to travel by car with our parents from Houma to Baton Rouge about once a month to visit relatives.

“Along the way, we passed through the small town of Klotzville, in Assumption Parish.

“We always sang, ‘Take the last train to Klotzville. …’ ”

Ewww, gross …

From our Bizarre Foods Dept. comes this tale by Glenn Giro, of Denham Springs:

“When Wendy’s was just starting out, their shakes only came in chocolate, and were known as a ‘Thick-N-Frosty.’

“Not having been to one in quite a while, I pulled up to the outside speaker to order a couple of them for my wife and her mother, using the name with which I was familiar (not knowing that it was no longer used — they were now simply called Frostys).

“When I pulled around to the window, I was surprised at how long it was taking.

“When the young lady opened the window, she apologized for the delay, saying, ‘We were trying to figure out what a Chicken Frosty was.’ ”

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.