Smiley: Celebrity birthdays

Marsha Reichle shares these thoughts she had while reading “Today’s birthdays” in the “Today in History” column in The Advocate:

“Whoa! Is she still alive?”

“Huh. He is really old. No wonder he is no longer working.”

“Ha! She’s older than I am.”

“Rats. We’re the same age, but she looks a lot better.”

“Double rats. I’m really older than he is?”

“Rats squared. She’s younger than I am.”

“Wow. He’s really young! Oh, that’s his grandson.”

“I guess that’s the name of a band.”

“Is she the one who was in that movie?”

“Didn’t he do something?”

“Rocker, rapper or romper?”

“Who in the world is she?”

“Who in the world is he?”

“Who are all these kids?”

Literal dad

Dudley Lehew, of Denham Springs, has a story that combines two recent seminar topics: signs with missing letters and ways to embarrass your children:

“I was driving my family home one night when we lived in New Jersey, and I suddenly whipped our station wagon into a convenience store’s parking lot.

“I got out, hopped up and down one time, and got back in the car.

“My wife and four children all had puzzled looks on their faces and asked, ‘What are you doing?’

“ ‘I’m doing what the sign says!’ I answered, casually pointing up to the ‘Stop and Shop’ store sign, which had a burned-out S on ‘Shop.’

“A very disgusted ‘D-a-a-a-d-y!’ was their collective response.”

Important letter

Speaking of signs with missing letters, Richard Fossey tells this tale:

“Years ago, when I lived in Alaska, there was a Chinese restaurant in downtown Anchorage called ‘The Dynasty.’

“Unfortunately, the letter Y dropped off its sign.

“Although the food was good, I confess that a few people referred to the place as ‘Duh Nasty.’ ”

Generation chasm

Harry Clark, of Lafayette, says, “I was enjoying my St. Paddy’s Day libation and chatting with my favorite bartender when she got a phone call.

“She came back looking a little puzzled and said the caller wanted to know if they had corned beef and cabbage.

“She told him no, but they did have Brussels sprouts.

“These young girls are just not up on some of the older traditions.”

Memory lane

“I can relate to all your ‘Back in Time’ articles about Baton Rouge,” says Lorene McKowen, citing a few memories:

“Hot tamales were sold off a cart at Park Boulevard and Government Street.

“City Park had a swimming pool with an island.

“There was also a skating rink at City Park, and half of the year it was a carousel.

“A zoo was also at City Park.

“Coming home on Sundays from False River, we would ride the ferry.

“My father had an ice cream store, The Taste That Tells, where the River Center is today.”

Special People Dept.

John DeLatin celebrates his 98th birthday Friday, March 21, with his buddies at the mall.

Frances Y. Smith celebrates her 92nd birthday on Saturday, March 22.

Raymond Boykin, of Berwick, celebrated his 91st birthday on Tuesday, March 18. He is a World War II veteran and a Halliburton retiree.

Margie L. Hitchcock celebrates her 90th birthday on Friday, March 21.

Andrew and Marian Jones, of Morgan City, celebrate their 61st anniversary on Saturday, March 22.

Money for molars

Sherri Really was a bit taken aback when her great-niece told her she had lost four teeth and, for this, had been left $20 by the Tooth Fairy:

“I thought, ‘Wow, a Tooth Fairy who understands inflation!’

“When I was young, most of the time I just got an IOU from a Tooth Fairy with a bad memory!

“So I thought I would ask if anyone out there has any extra teeth lying around that they don’t want, so I could give them to my great-niece.

“I was going to give her a cut of 10 percent, until she said, ‘Honey, it ain’t going to happen.’

“I ‘talked her down’ to 50 percent — she’s already a shrewd businesswoman at 10 years old!

“Even at 50 percent I, too, can know how the rich live. …”

Amen, cher …

Charlotte Lachicotte says our recent “Cajuns in church” stories remind her of this experience:

“One time I attended Mass at St. Elizabeth’s in Paincourtville.

“As a lady was doing one of the readings, I noticed, following along in the book, that she was unconsciously and instantaneously translating the written word into Cajun English, omitting words and changing sentence structure as needed.

“She didn’t miss a beat.

“Having taken ethnolinguistics in college, I was mesmerized.

“When she finished, I thought to myself, ‘I just heard the Gospel according to Alphonse!’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.