Smiley: Mom’s job

Wyn Barnett tells a story “my mother never let me live down.”

“When I was in the second grade, my mother and her good friend took a course in refinishing furniture. She always adored antique furniture and was very good at refinishing and repairing it.

“Their classes took place in New Orleans, and she and her friend had such a blast that they decided to open a business repairing and refinishing furniture.

“They opened Bix Furniture Repair next to the original Jay’s Bar-B-Q.

“There was that moment in elementary school when you had to stand up and tell the class what your mom and dad did for a living.

“I started with my dad and said, ‘He works at the Esso refinery.’

“Then I had to tell them what my mother did for a living.

“All I could think of were the classes she took and how the process worked on the furniture. My answer was, ‘My mother is a professional stripper, and she was taught how to do it in New Orleans!’

“There WAS a parent/teacher conference after that! To this day I laugh about it.”

Aging process

An addition to our collection of “You’re so old …” jokes, from David Buck, of Alexandria:

“She’s so old she can remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.”

Aging process II

Mike Romano, of Lake Rosemound, says this isn’t a joke, unfortunately:

“You know that you are definitely getting older when you forget to bring the groceries in the house — and think they were left at the grocery store.

“From now on, my wife says when we go shopping, she will get all the grocery items that need refrigeration.”

The last picture show

“ET” offers an example of the generation gap in words:

“I recently visited my daughter and her family in D.C.

“I planned to spend one whole day with my 5-year-old grandson.

“We had talked about what we would do together, and he decided he wanted to see the new ‘Lego’ 3-D movie.

“As he and I were leaving, I said, ‘OK, time to go to the picture show.’

“Tears welled up in his eyes and he said, ‘But Izzie, you promised me we would go to a MOVIE.’ ”

Gotcha!

Lori Archey tells of the joy of seeing law enforcement in action:

“My daughter and I are on our way to LSU on I-12 and the traffic is stopped — backed up to the Drusilla exit.

“A Jeep and a car speed by us, both on the shoulder.

“A cop car flashes his lights to get ahead of me and proceeds to pull the car off the road.

“We’re hoping the guy got a big fat ticket.”

Rabid movie fans

You people have all the answers.

After Oneal Isaac asked for help identifying a TV movie he recalled from his childhood, Gayle and Jeanell Strickland came up with the 1958 Goodyear Theater production, “The Chain and the River,” starring Paul Douglas as a farmer bitten by a rabid dog who chains himself to a tree to protect his family, then tries to get free to warn them of a flood coming their way.

Nobey Benoit, Jimmy White and “Storm” recall that a TV movie with the same plot (except that the farmer was bitten by a rabid skunk and chains himself to a barn) was made in 1974, called “A Cry in the Wilderness,” starring George Kennedy.

The marble hex

Farrell Comeaux, of Kaplan, adds to our series on schoolyard marbles games:

“We marble players in Kaplan used this technique:

“To make your opponent miss, you made a cross with your thumb in the dirt while saying the voodoo chant, ‘Gris gris chat passer dans la cendre!’ (‘Unlucky cat pass through these ashes!)

“Worked every time.”

Special People Dept.

Shirley Calamia Rihner, of the Gentilly neighborhood in New Orleans, celebrates her 92nd birthday on Tuesday.

Agnes Allain, of Port Allen, celebrated her 92nd birthday on Sunday.

Tommy and Daisy LeBeau celebrate 64 years of marriage on Tuesday.

Oh, brother!

Gene Duke says, “My 3-year-old grandson was becoming impatient while waiting for his brother’s christening.

“He finally asked, ‘Just when are they going to crucify my brother?’ ”

The littlest pacifist

Pete Blanchard, of Plaquemine, says, “At a recent Cub Scout meeting, the young Scouts were organized, sitting at two long tables, one across from the other.

“The idea was to have them sling marshmallows at each other, like a food fight.

“We thought our 8-year-old grandson, Wyatt, must have really enjoyed that, as he is so fun-loving.

“His mom’s reply was, ‘Not really. Before we could stop him, he ate all his ammunition.’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.