Smiley: And comics too

“People often say to me, ‘What do you old geezers do all day? Why, I’ll bet you don’t even know what day it is!’ ” says Fritz McCameron.

“Well, I admit that things like hours are not always important, but days are — and I’ll tell you how I keep track of them.

“I rely entirely on The Advocate!

“The paper is always interesting (especially Smiley), so I look for daily differences, as follows:

“If the paper:

“… has no Smiley and a large crossword, it must be Sunday.

“… is skinny, it must be Monday or Tuesday (basically alike, unless I have a doctor’s appointment).

“… is plumper, it must be Wednesday.

“… has a Food section, it must be Thursday.

“… has classic cars, it must be Friday.

“… none of the above, it must be Saturday.

“And there you have it.

“This system keeps me straight on the important stuff; other temporal matters tend to care for themselves.”

Our Boilermaker

I spent an enjoyable Sunday afternoon at Alex Box Stadium with son-in-law Boyce Smith, munching peanuts and watching LSU’s baseball team defeat Purdue.

I didn’t see anyone wearing Purdue’s colors, but Richard Flicker says he was out there, attired in his alma mater’s black and old gold:

“As I left Alex Box, several LSU fans wished me a safe trip back home.

“I thanked them and said that traffic shouldn’t be too bad back to Bluebonnet Boulevard.”

Crawfish are sexy?

Steve Decell says, “Returning to Baton Rouge from Lafayette ‘the back way’ on U.S. 190 via the old bridge Saturday (due to stalled traffic on I-10), I spotted a sign in front of a bar on Airline Highway near the old Earl K. Long Hospital.

“The sign read ‘Seductive Saturday Crawfish Boil.’

“OK, Smiley, now I’ve lived in various cities throughout south Louisiana for the past 54 years, and I swear I don’t recall ever seeing or hearing the words ‘seductive’ and ‘crawfish boil’ used in the same sentence.

“I can’t tell you how tempting it was to stop and check out the scene at that bar.

“But I was concerned I might see something that would be ingrained in my brain and forever affect all my future crawfish boils.

“Hmm … now that I think about it, I should have stopped and taken a picture.”

Winds of change

Alex Chapman, of Ville Platte, addresses our recent mention of Western Auto stores:

“Frank Maraist, one of my LSU law professors, had a story of growing up in Small Town, USA.

“They used to buy necessary stuff from the ‘Stern Auto’ in downtown Kaplan.

“Then he moved to a larger town and saw his first Western Auto.

“The occasional high winds in Kaplan had knocked off the first two letters on the sign there.”

Keep moving

Cameron Heltz comments on the news that an expired auto inspection sticker is not considered a “stoppable offense” by law enforcement folks:

“Of course it makes sense that the offense is not stoppable — the car’s brakes don’t work.”

World view

Bertha Hinojosa was teaching her kindergarten students at LaSalle Elementary about books.

She asked if any of the 5-year-olds could name the part of a book that contains a list of the chapters and pages on which they start.

One of the youngsters said, “I know — it is the table of continents.”

Fish story

Ralph Drouin says St. Louis King of France Catholic Church’s Knights of Columbus members sell fried fish dinners from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. every Friday during Lent at the church, 2121 N. Sherwood Forest Blvd.

Special People Dept.

Ben Wicker celebrated his 91st birthday on Monday, March 10. A World War II veteran, he was on the battleship USS California (BB-44) during the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Margie Hughes Jordan, of Denham Springs, celebrated her 91st birthday on Sunday, March 9. She is a native of Brusly.

Burning issue

Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, tells this one:

“Jean Paul, my young grandson, attends a private Protestant school in Jackson, Miss.

“On Ash Wednesday, he was one of only two students who came to class with a cross of blackened ashes on their foreheads.

“One classmate said it was because Jean Paul was a Catholic.

“ ‘No,’ another one replied, ‘it is because Jean Paul is a Cajun.’ ”

Religious instruction

Speaking of church people, Tom Toddy tells of the innovative pastor in Shreveport who began one sermon with this: “My job is to do the preaching and your job is to do the listening. If you get through before I do, please raise your hand!”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.