Patricia Gannon: How to judge a woman by her boots

Few items in a woman’s wardrobe carry a heavier message than boots. Worn throughout history for both warmth and modesty, it’s only since the 1960s that boots have been worn purely as a fashion statement, and it’s in interpreting these statements that men need a hand. Decoding the politics of clothing can be tricky, but whatever a woman wears — or doesn’t — is telling you something. Boots are no exception.

With that in mind, gentlemen, consider the following when it comes to sizing up women:

WESTERN BOOTS: The woman wearing these is either from Texas or in town for the rodeo. If you drive a pickup truck, you’re on. Women from Texas like to wear these with a cocktail dress, the same way Texas men wear jeans with a tuxedo jacket. Texas ladies pretty much do whatever they want to. Spurs optional.

BIKER BOOTS: Similar to western boots in that the woman wearing them is either a rebel or belongs to a motorcycle gang. She likes a man with a streak of bad boy otherwise she will walk all over you. If she’s wearing a patch or belt buckle that says “Property Of,” her boyfriend will walk all over you, too.

EQUESTRIAN BOOTS: The woman wearing a pair of these is timelessly classic, a real thoroughbred. Expensive to maintain but with proper handling, you can probably make it around the clubhouse turn if not the finish line.

BOOTIES: She’s a big baby. Needy and requires constant pacifying, a crier.

BUSINESS BOOTS: These are black leather with stiletto heels and extend all the way past the knee to mid-thigh. Pay up front and address the woman who wears them as “Mistress.”

Patricia Gannon covers society for The Acadiana Advocate. She can be reached at pgannon@cmaildrop.com or at pgannon@theadvocate.com.

Troubadours royalty party

Members of the Order of the Troubadours gathered at City Club’s Eleven Hundred Room for a private party honoring incoming royalty. The krewe and friends did their Mardi Gras mingling over a cocktail buffet, but mum’s the word until the official passing of the crown. And while you can’t keep a proud mother quiet or a royal wife either for that matter, The Advocate’s happy to play along. Elegant as ever was Alexa John in vintage Henri Bendel, hosts Aimée and David John, Crowley rice king Bobby Hands and wife Mollie, Terese Reggie, also of Crowley, Darrellyn Burts, Denise and Wes Castille, Crystall Coroy, and Bollywood-beautiful Ashima and Mohit Srivastava and Kalyan and Vasavi Veerina.

Attakapas holds Carnival Pow-wow

Indians both Mardi Gras and otherwise took over the Frem Boustany Convention Center for the Krewe of Attakapas 46th Annual Ball. Masked members of the mystic krewe ushered guests to their tables inside, while outside, the Coushattas arrived to dance at the festivities for the first time in a decade. One had to play “who dat” with the ladies, since they do not allow themselves to be identified, but out in the open was King Lacassine XLV Harold Domingue Jr., Dukes Bret Giroir, Michael Joubert, Dr. Bryan Sibley, Monty Warren, and Charles Fenstermaker III, attorney extraordinaire Ed Abell, City Club exec Alan Jacobs, Michael Doumit and Mardi Gras Mohawks Joe Pritchett and Adam Fuselier. We also have it on good authority that board members wear white, floor captains wear red, and each row of “beading” signifies seniority and years in the krewe. And by the way, not even the Oscars’ goodie bags beat the ones at this ball.