Smiley: Oysters fool easy

Dear Smiley: The great Leeville crab spill (in the Jan. 21 column) was quite an interesting story.

Do you think the seafood truck driver became the least bit suspicious when he observed the eager volunteer helpers at the crab round-up putting the captured critters in boiling pots?

It reminded me of a delightful poem by Lewis Carroll called “The Walrus and the Carpenter,” in which the eponymous principals bamboozle a group of credulous young oysters to join them in a hike down the beach.

It ends in this stanza:

“O Oysters,” said the Carpenter,

“You’ve had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again?”

But answer came there none

And this was scarcely odd, because

They’d eaten every one.


Baton Rouge

The wrong Tom

Dear Smiley: I need your help in your column, with an explanation that I, Tom Simoneaux, DID NOT win the Powerball lottery, Publishers Clearing House drawing, Louisiana Lotto or casino jackpots — and none of my dead relatives have willed me anything.

Evidently someone has spread the word that I have come into a lot of money, judging by the daily requests I get in the mail for contributions to so many different clubs or organizations.



Sweet temptations

Dear Smiley: As a cradle Catholic, I understand the “what” and “why” for the king cake season.

That is, the circular cake represents God’s never-ending love in the king, the baby Jesus which is found inside the cake.

Tradition has it that whoever gets the piece with the baby has the next king cake party.

I get all of that.

However, for some time, the season has included Girl Scout cookies, which seem to be available all the way through the Lenten season.

As you may well know, for Catholics, Lent is a time for fasting.

Of course, there are the creative fasts: staying away from the in-laws, not eating the most undesirable foods, etc.

Then there are the usual fasts: sweets, favorite soft drinks, and (heaven forbid) your favorite adult beverage.

Girl Scout cookies seem to fly in the face of the “usual” fasts.

Which begs the question: Why do the Girl Scouts attempt every year to sell something that 25 percent of the population is trying to give up for 40 days?

They have the perfect response: they freeze real well.

It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya.


Tyler, Texas

Weighty topic

Dear Smiley: Great to hear from Paul Habig (in the Jan. 18 column).

His memory and mine are becoming clouded by age (of course, you wouldn’t know anything about that).

I joined WBRZ in 1961 and worked shoulder to shoulder with wonderful people such as Brooks Read, Bud Hebert, Walter Hill, Jean Wheeler, John Ferguson, J.C Politz and Jerry Breaux.

You could say I was a little chunky in those days, but I lost about 50 pounds after surgery at Our Lady of the Lake, located then behind the State Capitol.

With a diligent search and the help of the Toddle House’s banana cream pie, I was able to locate about 15 of those pounds.

Now with my wife, Gloria’s, urging, a healthful diet and help from the Fit and Fearless free exercise program for cancer survivors sponsored by Cancer Services, I’m keeping myself in shape.

Exercise is the key, Smiley. You should try it.

Straight Ahead!


Baton Rouge

Dear Mike: Obviously you haven’t seen me on my daily late afternoon “Health Walks” through Spanish Town and downtown Baton Rouge.

I pause during my walks only to hydrate at several establishments along my route …

Enough already!

Dear Smiley: Thank you so very much.

There was no mention of Toddle House in a recent column.

Even after you said “No more Toddle House storiesĀ …” there were some.


Abita Springs

Dear Jean: To quote Gov. Earl Long, “Tell ’em I lied!”

That’s scary!

Dear Smiley: The other night I was reading an article about some more changes to The Advocate.

The article read, “Advocate changes ownership with Atlanta-based company. Will no longer carry Sports section.”

I was soon relieved — once I awoke and realized it was only a nightmare.


St. Amant

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.