Smiley: They’re odd in Cape Cod

“They say travel is broadening, and I have to agree,” Richard Fossey says.

“My wife and I traveled to Cape Cod last fall for my daughter’s wedding.

“While visiting Provincetown, Mass., I went into a public restroom, where I saw this sign: ‘Do not flush the toilet with your feet. You will be asked to leave.’

“I had never seen a sign with that message, and I mentioned it to my wife.

“ ‘Well, the penalty isn’t really very effective,’ she observed. ‘After you’ve flushed the toilet with your feet, you’d be ready to leave the restroom anyway.’ ”

In the pink

Speaking of standing on one foot. …

This flamingo story is one I’m filing under “Why I love Spanish Town Mardi Gras.”

I just got an email about an offer from the Society for the Preservation of Lagniappe in Louisiana, which puts on Baton Rouge’s Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade:

“SPLL through David Applegate has offered to ‘refresh’ all old pink wooden flamingos for residents of Spanish Town, changing the ‘Pepto Bismol Pink’ to the new ‘Day-Glo Pink’ at his business at 1440 Government on Saturday, Jan. 25, between 8 a.m. and 11 a.m.

“Anyone wanting to take advantage of this nice offer, please bring your flamingo there on Jan. 25.”

Where else can you live where you’re offered a free flamingo painting?

And Day-Glo at that?

Weighty topic

Debbie Peltier Roques, of Donaldsonville, says her mother, Inez “Nez” Landry, was 94 on Jan. 11.

“On that day her age and her weight were the same.

“How many people could ever see that?”

(Well, I could — but I’d have to live a very, very long time indeed. …)

Words of wisdom

Glenn Giro, of Denham Springs, says Dudley Lehew’s doughnut hole quotation (“Keep your eye upon the doughnut and not upon the hole”) made him “remember when I was a young lad.

“My grandma had a pair of tall drinking glasses with a troubadour character on each.

“One had the quote Dudley remembered, and the other had this one: ‘Never look down to test the ground before taking each step. He who keeps his eyes affixed upon his feet loses sight of his final goal.’

“Funny how, with all the things I have learned in life, those two quotes have stuck with me for some reason.

“Thanks, Dudley.”

Pretty good season

Ronnie Stutes says in its story on the Yankees signing of Japanese pitcher Masashiro Tanaka, the New York Times reported that he “had an excellent season last year, going 24-0 with a 1.27 earned run average.”

Says Ronnie: “I know newspapers are sometimes accused of exaggerating, but in this case I’d have to say that ‘excellent’ is an understatement.”

Angel sighting

Charlotte Prouty thanks “the angel in the big truck” for pushing her car off to the side of the road when white smoke started coming from under the hood:

“I looked at the dashboard gauge, and the needle was square in the middle of that red area.

“I tried to turn off into the service station parking lot to get out of the way — but just as I got in the middle of the two lanes, that’s where my car decided that it would commit suicide.

“And it was in the late afternoon traffic on Highland Road by the water park, where there are umpteen traffic lights.

“A big truck pulled up behind me, but couldn’t go around like the other cars were doing.

“He got out, told me to put it in neutral and to cut the wheel sharp to the right.

“He pushed me into the lot far enough to get out of the way.

“When I turned around to thank him, he had gotten into his truck and was driving off.”

Special People Dept.

Whitney and Dale Thibodeaux celebrate their 65th anniversary on Thursday, Jan. 23.

That doggone dog!

Pat Compton, of Bunkie, tells of the guy who was driving around the backwoods of Louisiana when he saw a sign in front of a house reading “Talking Dog for Sale.”

He stops and meets the owner, who takes him into his backyard to see a Labrador retriever.

“You talk?” the guy asks the Lab.

“Yep,” the dog replies. “I discovered I could talk when I was pretty young.

“I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA, and they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

“I was a spy for years, then I got tired of the travel so I got a job doing undercover security at an airport, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

“Finally I retired, and here I am.”

The guy, amazed, asks the owner what he wants for the dog, and the owner says “Ten dollars.”

“Why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?” the guy asks.

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar — he’s never been out of the backyard.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.