Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, but he left behind some of his favorite stories from a decade or so earlier.
What’s so funny?
A reader nominates this for Joke of the Year:
“Had lunch with Smiley today. The bill came. He paid.”
Inquiring Minds Dept.
Mel Prust wonders, “How can they advertise that a headache tablet can give you relief in seconds when it takes you an hour to get the cotton out of the bottle?”
Janice Stelly Cheek, of Lecompte, heard her excited grandson Max Huffman, 4, say: “Mi Mi, Dad killed a big deer and now he’s outside peeling it.”
Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, says in the early days of aviation, a very excited pilot called the control tower to report that his gas tank was leaking.
The air traffic controller instructed him to fly upside-down to conserve fuel so he could reach the airport.
The moral of the story: “Loop before you leak.”
Leaving him flat
Kenneth Fledderman tells of the doctor who diagnosed a patient as having a highly infectious disease.
“We are going to feed you flounder and pancakes,” says the physician.
The anxious patient asks, “Is that going to cure me?”
The doctor replies, “No, that is all that will fit under the door.”
Man vs. Machine
My tale of being on a stuck elevator reminded Harry Simon, of Eunice, of this story:
A guy was in a hospital elevator when an employee in a white uniform entered, pushing a piece of equipment with all manner of hoses, dials and gauges.
The visitor commented, “I’d sure hate to be hooked up to that thing.”
The worker with the machine replied, “Me too — it’s a carpet cleaner.”
Is that an Aggie joke?
L.P. Miller says, “I was never stuck in an elevator, but once I was halfway up an escalator when it stopped.
“Had to stand there for hours while they tried to fix it.”
Greg Derbes says this about tales of folks stuck in elevators:
“You hear about the Aggie who got stuck in his hotel room?
“He tried to leave and found that the room had three doors — one was to a bathroom, one to a closet, and the other said ‘Do Not Disturb.’ ”
An “only in Louisiana” item:
As I showed friends the fish swimming in Lady Katherine’s new aquarium, I meant to tell them she had always wanted a saltwater aquarium.
But somehow it came out, “She has always wanted a seafood aquarium.”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.