Smiley: Sounds suspicious

L.P. Miller adds to our discussion of government eavesdropping:

“I learned — don’t ask how — that the feds have tapped into my communiques with my brother up north. I got a transcript:

“ ‘Hi. How you doin’?’

“ ‘Same old same old.’

“ ‘Gout any better?’

“ ‘Comes and goes. How’s your thing?’

“ ‘Still seeing the doc.’

“ ‘Well, take care.’

“ ‘You too.’

“Pretty scary stuff. Expecting a wee hours knock on the door. …”

Special commercial

Sue Sperry, of Metairie, says our list of New Orleans TV commercials has to include Frankie and Johnny’s Furniture ads, which were so popular that Conan O’Brien parodied them.

One ad shows a lady telling a salesman (a guy with a really awful toupee) that she has bad credit, has filed for bankruptcy, etc., but needs new furniture.

The salesman turns to “Special Man,” a dude in a cowboy hat, who says, “Let her have it!”

Then another guy jumps out and yells “Noooo problem!”

Three’s a crowd

Laura Robertson, of Pine Grove, has a party line story:

“My in-laws were on a line with an old lady in the Hillsdale community who often talked to another old lady there.

“One day my mother-in-law, Nellie Robertson, needed to use the phone. The two ladies were on it, so she waited a while.

“The conversation was very sparse, with long pauses when neither of them said anything.

“Finally, after picking the phone up several times and finding them still there, during one of the pauses she said, ‘Well, bye’ — and they both hung up.”

Youthful theology

Stories about kids and faith:

Wayne Cambre says when “Old Paw Paw,” his daughter-in-law’s grandfather, died in New Roads, they explained to their 5-year-old granddaughter that Jesus was taking him to heaven.

They were at an aunt’s house in New Roads when her mother noticed the youngster looking out the storm door at the street.

The 5-year-old explained, “I am watching for Jesus taking Old Paw Paw to heaven.”

Dorothy Rader says her cousin, Ruth Rabb, of Natchez, Miss., told this story about Ruth’s son, Wayne, and Wayne’s grandson, Colton, 5.

Colton is such a fan of horses that they call him “the little cowboy,” so he was thrilled when Wayne took him on a trail ride.

But the ride turned out to be more of an ordeal than they had planned on, and after 3½ hours, they were both very tired.

Colton, noticing his grandfather’s distress, told him, “Paw Paw, you know Jesus will take care of us — you do know that, don’t you?”

Then he thought to add, “And Paw Paw, you do know He’s invisible; did you know that, Paw Paw?”

Wine noir

Dionne Viosca, of Metairie, joins our wine label discussion:

She says “The Smoking Loon” (a “very smooth” Merlot) has a back label that reads like the synopsis of a Raymond Chandler or Mickey Spillane novel:

“Cigar-smoking ‘Jake’ describes a guy ‘with an eerie, loon-like cackle,’ giving the impression that the Loon works on both sides of the law.

“According to Jake, he was ‘So dam’ efficient … He’d take care of business an’ get in an’ out before anybody’d see him comin’. …”

“There’s a sequel to ‘Smoking Loon’ called ‘The Metallic Bird,’ a nice, crisp white wine that has been aged in smooth steel containers instead of the usual oak barrels.

“As Jake tells it, if the Smoking Loon gets into a jam, the Metallic Bird swoops in and flies the Loon out of danger.

“I believe the folks at that winery could expand on both stories, sell the rights to a TV network as a comedy-drama-crime series and make a fortune!”

Love that road!

Flo Smith says that when she goes outside her home on Mockingbird Lane to get her Advocate, she’s pleased to see all the many cars and trucks on “that wonderful road,” the new Central Thruway, connecting Central with Baton Rouge:

“It does my heart good to see so many people enjoying the good work of so many people who got this project done.”

Colorful idea

Tom Cagley says, “I grew my mustache in 1973, and decided to shave it off this February after 40 years.

“Neither my wife nor my son, Nick, had ever seen me without it.

“Nick and his wife, Jennifer, had a daughter in 2008, and when Sara got to be 4, she would allow me to tickle her on her cheek with the mustache.

“Sara wasn’t happy when it was gone, so I promised to grow it back starting last Thursday.

“‘Do you pinkie promise me?’ she asked.

I did and we locked pinkie fingers and sealed the deal.

“I talked to her the following Tuesday on Nick’s cellphone on their way home from school.

“‘Is it growing even now, even in the afternoon?’ Sara asked. ‘What color is it? My favorite color is pink.’

“I asked her dad if salt and pepper would be okay.”

(I don’t know, Tom — with a pink mustache you might catch on with a rock band. …)

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.