Smiley: Tales from the past

Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, so here are a few stories from past columns that he left behind:

Getting personal

Chuck Perrodin has this jaundiced comment on our Bad Poem Contest:

“A columnist (who, we’ll not say)

Had a column to fill every day.

When his mind drew a blank,

He sought poems that stank …

Now who says that rhyme doesn’t pay?”

Strange tongues

Rena Lipari says she and son Jarrett, 8, were discussing school before he started third grade:

“I told him I had been to see his classroom, and the alphabet above the blackboard this year was in cursive, not print.

“He paused, looked at me quizzically and said, ‘Momma, the teacher can WRITE cursive all she wants, as long as she TALKS English.’ ”

Why they’re great

Mitch and Lucy Sotile, of Donaldsonville, offer these thoughts about great-grandchildren:

“They don’t see the wrinkles on your face.

“They don’t see that you might be a little overweight.

“They don’t see that you don’t move as fast as you used to.

“All they see is the love in your eyes for them.”

Heaven on earth?

Bruce Edwards just read about a religious group that believes heaven will have plenty of good food:

He says, “Just backs up my contention that there is something heavenly about New Orleans.”

Positive identification

Bob Hayes, of Prairieville, overheard this in church:

“A father gave his 4-year-old daughter his offering envelope and told her to put it in the plate.

“She asked him what it was for, and he told her it was for Jesus.

“After the usher had collected her envelope, she turned to her father and whispered, ‘That’s not Jesus, that’s Sophie’s dad!’ ”

Colorful comment

Nincy Nordstrum Slocum, an Istrouma High classmate, tells this class reunion story:

Jack, attending his first reunion in years, thought he recognized a lady.

He approached her and extended his hand in greeting.

“You look like Helen Brown,” he said.

“Well,” she snapped back, “you don’t look so great in blue either!”

Do not disturb

Tom Joffrion, of Plaquemine, says, “While driving into New Orleans, we observed sound barriers being installed along the interstate as it passes between two huge cemeteries.”

If I was a cynic, I’d say that it’s just an example of Louisiana politicians rewarding the folks who vote for them. …

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.