Smiley: Older but still childish

It has come to my attention that over the 34 years you’ve been writing this column for me, some of you have reached a rather advanced maturity.

Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, takes note of this phenomenon by pointing out that “You may no longer be a kid when …

“… You learn naps are good.

“… The only thing in your cereal box is cereal.

“… Saturday mornings are for sleeping.

“… You are taller than the slide at McDonald’s Playland.

“… You leave concerts and ball games early to beat the traffic.

“… Your idea of a fun party now includes Snapple.”

Cheeky comments

Kenneth Allen, “a farm boy from the Frozen Nawth of Kentucky,” says the “pork cheeks” I encountered at the New Orleans porkery Cochon are also known as hog jowls — “hawg jaws in Kaintuck.”

He adds, “This would make it plain they come from the north end of the pig.”

And Stephen Winham, of St. Francisville, points that “had the pork cheeks come from the other end, they would have had another name — ham.”

Oh baby!

Linda McCready Irwin, of Hammond, wonders how many “Babies of the Week” are still around.

She says in March 1950 there was a photo of her by Jan Photography in the Baton Rouge papers, with an announcement that “Linda Ann McCready, 5-month-old daughter of Mr. & Mrs. B.J. McCready” was “Baby of the Week.”

The ad also said, “Listen to WLCS each Friday at 9:45 a.m. for ‘Showers of Gifts’ presented to the ‘Baby of the Week’ by leading merchants all over Baton Rouge. Enter your baby for these honors by calling Jan, 4-3728.’ ”

Linda says the gifts included a $3 check from a finance company to pay for a baby-sitter.

Formal football fans

Loraine Bruner recalls that “back in the late 1940s and 1950s, going to the LSU football game was a big social event.

“Ladies dressed in their best clothes, including hats, gloves, purses and fur stoles if they had them. No matter what the weather, this is how they dressed.

“Even going downtown was a dress-up deal. It’s been a long time ago …”

The lemon drop cure

Bonnie Jones says her grandmother Elizabeth Fugler used bourbon to “ease the suffering of a cold” by her grandchildren:

“She put lemon drops in a Mason jar and poured enough bourbon over the candy to completely cover them. When it turned to syrup, she used it for cough medicine.”

Cuppa okra?

Addressing our mention of coffee substitutes during wars or other hard times, Nena Richard tells of having “a hand grinder from Donaldsonville that was used on okra seed during coffee shortages.”

Dead reckoning

DeeDee DiBenedetto says the old 105 Mile Spur Cemetery a reader is seeking “is actually the Sowell Family Cemetery, approximately two miles south of Slaughter. I believe it was once part of the William Sowell Plantation.

“Buried in this cemetery is Confederate veteran I. (for Issac) Walker Jean.”

Train tune

Buck Blouin, of Prairieville, says, “No train song comes close to ‘There Goes that Train’ by Rollie McGill, from the ’50s. The sax is unbelievable!”

Nice People Dept.

Mary F. Johnson wasn’t happy about having to spend her birthday at the Baton Rouge General on Bluebonnet for same-day surgery.

But six of the nurses made her day when they presented her with a small cake and sang “Happy Birthday” to her.

Worthy causes

Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers says for every dollar you give to the Share Our Strength’s “Dine Out For No Kid Hungry” campaign through Saturday, you get a coupon for a free box combo with purchase of one.

The Giving Quilt Inc. and Wasted Women Bee are collecting new quilts to send to Oklahoma tornado victims.

Drop them off at St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church, 12663 Perkins Road, on Tuesdays through Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. by July 9.

Special People Dept.

Lena Dias celebrates her 94th birthday Monday.

Getting your attention

After a reader mentioned unusual business names, Phillip Garrett, of Prairieville, offered:

“Bayou Self” car wash on U.S. 61 near St. Francisville.

“Minnow Pause,” a bait shop on La. 1 near Grand Isle.

Conspiracy theory

Randy Jenkins says he and wife Michelle sense a major scandal brewing.

They’ve asked me to use my investigative skills to “find out who is issuing driver’s licenses to Baton Rouge drivers.

“Clearly, most of them don’t know how to drive.”

I tested their theory one afternoon on the interstate — and by golly, I think they’re on to something …

Write Smiley at He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.