Smiley: Frosty in trouble

Dionne Viosca, of Metairie, says our recent police blotter stories “brought back a hilarious ‘best of the blotter’ memory for my husband and me.

“Our son lives in Durango, Colo., and every few weeks he e-mails us some really funny police reports: ‘A loud noise was heard coming from an apartment on 16th Street around midnight,’ etc. — you get the idea.

“Well, Durango obviously has a Victorian police force helping to keep everyone on the straight and narrow, for this entry appeared in the Durango Herald several winters ago:

“ ‘An anatomically correct snowman was seen standing on the corner of 3rd and Main on Saturday at 3:15 p.m.’

“It’s true — you can’t make this up!

“I wonder low long it took for Mr. Snowman to melt?”

Close enough

Rose Rolfsen says, “As Mother’s Day approaches, I am reminded of this happening.

“One of my sons asked what I wanted, and I said some impatience plants.

“He went to the nursery, couldn’t remember, and said he wanted ‘irresponsibility’ plants.

“The clerk thought and thought, and finally said, ‘Do you mean impatience?’

“My son said, ‘Oh yes, that is it.’

“And that is what I got!”

Check, mate

Doug Johnson, of Watson, says our comments about the Prop Stop, a watering hole for boaters, “brought back some old memories, not about the Prop Stop, but the ‘prop check’ back in the 1960s when I did a lot of water-skiing on the beautiful lakes that abound in Tennessee, usually with the same group of friends.”

He explains that “prop check” was a euphemism used when a guy on the boat had to …

Oh, never mind …

Plenty of nothing

Glenn Giro, of Denham Springs, “Talk about express lanes in groceries made me remember a trip to Schwegmann’s in the late ’80s.

“They had express lanes for 20, 10 and 5 items or less, open as needed.

“The signs for these lines used those old slide-in numbers so the amounts could be changed if necessary.

“Well, on this day, I went to check out with only a few things.

“The ‘5 items or less’ line was closed, so I went to the only one open.

“Normally, it would have been the ‘10 items or less’ line, but one of the plastic numbers was missing. So I had to get into a check-out line designated as ‘1 item or less.’

“Did this mean that if I had less than one item, I still had to check out and pay sales tax on my no items?”

End game

After a reader asked about the schoolyard game, Red Rover, Sherry Jewell explains:

“Everybody knows that the game of Red Rover is over when the school bell rings!”

Cures of the past

A reader who calls herself “Old Remedies” says our seminar on black salve (ichthammol) reminds her of her mother’s stories about her childhood in St. James:

“She said her grandmother used it on them to treat wounds.

“That ointment is no longer used to treat wounds, but is used in combination with other drugs in the oncology/radiation fields.”

She says her mom “always remembers the old remedies, many of which I have not so fond memories of — like swabbing our throats with Mercurochrome.”

She says that while many of the old remedies are gone, there is still one she’d like to find: rock alum, “which we always used to treat ulcers of the mouth.

“Nothing works better!”

Special People Dept.

On Friday Lila Villneuve, of Central, celebrates her 93rd birthday.

Juanita Richardson celebrates her 90th birthday Friday.

Yvonne and Gilbert Ganucheau, of River Ridge, celebrate their 61st anniversary Friday.

Nell and Calvin Golden celebrate their 61st anniversary Friday.

The big chill

Mariano Hinojosa tells of hearing his wife, Bertha, coin a new word during our recent cool snap.

When she came out of Sunday morning church services and encountered a gust of winter wind, she yelled, “This weather is not warming up, it’s colding down!”

Fiery response

Gordon Jarnigan says, “Just before World War II, I boarded, along with several other boys, with Mrs. Annie Mae Bradley while going to Louisiana Tech in Ruston.

“At Christmas dinner in 1941 there were candles on the table, and Mrs. Bradley’s 5-year-old nephew started to blow them out.

“Mrs. Bradley said, ‘No, Jimmy, it is not your birthday; it is Jesus’ birthday.’ Jimmy was a bit piqued.

“After the meal, Mrs. Bradley said, ‘Now Jimmy, you can blow out the candles.’

“But Jimmy replied, in a very offended way, ‘Let Jesus blow them out; it’s his birthday.’

“The 5-year-old is a retired lawyer in Baton Rouge, James D. Thompson. I asked him if he remembered this, and he did.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.