Why reading the paper  is such fun

Judy Bradshaw says our mention of a misunderstood headline caused her to recall these from years past (and NOT from this paper, by the way):

  • “Drunk held in violin case”
  • “Missing painting found by tree”
  • “Hospital sued by 7 foot doctors”

She also recalls misplaced captions under photos:

“Opera singer Beverly Sills once performed at a small Nebraska town. There was also an outbreak of some cattle disease called ‘stinking smut.’

“The paper had two pictures on the front page. Under the picture of Sills it said ‘stinking smut.’ Under the dead cow it said ‘Beverly Sills.’ ”

The tireless driver

Years ago, car makers started saving money by replacing real spare tires with “doughnuts,” little tires just big enough to get you to a repair shop — if you drove REAL slow and the shop is within walking distance.

What’s worse than the doughnut tire, you ask?

Nina Carazo Snapp tells us:

“I bought a new car, and I like it except for one small detail.

“When I found one of my tires flat, I called AAA and they came right over to help.

“Well, much to our surprise, NO SPARE TIRE. There was an air pump but no tire.

“When I managed to get to a tire place, the manager could not believe I didn’t have a spare and checked to make sure.

“Inside the door panel there is a sticker that says that the car comes without a spare.”

In your dreams

I don’t usually deal in dream analysis, so it was a bit strange that I heard from two readers on the same day about their dreams.

Doug Johnson, of Watson, says, “I dreamed I was working a crossword puzzle, and The Riddler from Batman comics was giving me clues. One clue was ‘a list of tools that has nothing on it.’ The answer was ‘scratch awl’ (scratch all).”

And Ron Thibodeaux says, “I quit smoking 30 years ago. But I still sometimes dream that I am smoking! When I wake up, I say to myself, ‘I don’t smoke anymore, and I don’t even want to smoke.’

“The worst part is that when I wake up, I feel guilty for smoking! My New Year’s resolution: Quit smoking in my dreams.”

From the time capsule

T-Bob Taylor, of Panama City Beach, Fla., had this thought when he saw the note from a reader looking for someone to repair a 40-year-old typewriter:

“Hmm. I’m sure I put that 1973 Bell Telephone Book around here somewhere. …”

Fans and food

Food blogger Jay Ducote, of Jay D’s Bite and Booze Blog, is one of 52 finalists in the 2013 Major League Baseball Fan Cave competition.

An online voting campaign through the MLB Fan Cave website narrows the field to 30, then auditions at spring training select residents of the Fan Cave in New York City.

Jay is the only Louisianian and only Astros fan in the 52.

Play ball!

Speaking of baseball, the 66th Baton Rouge Kids’ Baseball Clinic is Sunday at Pete Goldsby Field. Registration starts at 12:30 p.m. and instruction starts at 1:30 p.m.

Boys and girls ages 6 and up are welcome to attend the free clinic for instruction by major league, minor league and college players.

Contact L.J. Dupuy at
dupuylj@cox.net or Bob Waltman at waltman1@cox.net.

Worthy causes

For the third year, Bobbi Jo Guerin and Berlin Coxe hosted “Watson’s Annual Bird & Sausage Gumbo Cook Off” to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and the Wounded Warrior Project.

More than 2,000 diners dug into gumbo, boiled crawfish, barbecued chicken, boudin, etc.

First place went to Team Bardogs, led by Mark Lewis; second place went to Le Poulet de Couyon, David Waters; and third place went to Team Double D, Tommy Fremin.

Special People Dept.

  • On Thursday, Jessie Thompson, of Prairieville, celebrates her 99th birthday.
  • Mary Wood Sealy, of New Iberia, celebrates her 95th birthday Thursday.
  • On Thursday Jeanne Lorio celebrates her 90th birthday.
  • William M. “Red” Johnson, of Kentwood, celebrated his 90th birthday Monday.
  • Jim and Marian Wood celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary Thursday.
  • J.R. and Theresa Gordon celebrate their 56th anniversary Thursday.

Thought for the Day

From Marvin Borgmeyer: “When in doubt, look intelligent.”

Contact sport

Jerry Guilbeau, of Carencro, comments on an Advocate headline: “Cheerleading,wrestling event.”

He asks, “Is it too late to sign up? It’s been a few years since I took part in such an event.”

Pound foolish

Algie Petrere tells about a newspaper article on a study that tied male obesity to a virus:

“One evening, my friend came home exhausted from a long day at work and told his wife:

“Did you read the paper? I’m not going in to work
tomorrow. I’m calling in
fat.”

Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.