Smiley Anders for Aug. 31, 2012

Dudley Lehew, of Denham Springs, adds to our collection of sayings our grandchildren wouldn’t understand:

• “That boy’s got a lot of starch in him!”
• “I’ve got to get my shoes resoled.”
• “Mom gets up with the chickens.”
• “Do your chores first!”
• “Go cut me a switch!”

Drinking problem

Harry Clark, of Lafayette, says, “Most evenings I go to a local establishment and meet a few of my friends. We have a few root beers and exchange stories.

“Then I go home and slip into something more comfortable (my recliner) with a libation that consists of ice, a clear liquid and a couple of olives.

“About this time my little inside dog wants to go outside. I open the slider to let her out, and this little moth comes in.

“It spends about five minutes flying around the lamp by my chair, and then commits suicide by diving into my drink.

“Do you know what these pests are called?”

(Assuming that isn’t a rhetorical question, here’s my take: It appears you’ve been attacked by the dreaded martini moth …)

Aging process

Joel d’Aquin Thibodeaux offers evidence that we become our grandparents:

“In the mid-1960s when I was a teenager, Grandpa and Grandma did not have a television.

“Grandpa would say, ‘We don’t need TV!’

“They finally got one years after everyone else — about 1968 — and they got a black and white.

“I remember Grandpa saying, ‘People don’t need color TV! Color TV is bad for your eyes!’

“Now I tell my husband, ‘I don’t need to watch news on my cellphone! It hurts my eyes to watch a little screen like that!’

“I never thought I would be here — not being really excited about everything modern — but here I am!”

Going south

Joe Thibodeaux, of Zachary, says, “Since the I-10 closure for a day, the talk of a loop around Baton Rouge is a hot topic again.

“There is a bypass of Baton Rouge under construction now — I-49 (the old U.S. 90 route from Lafayette to New Orleans).”

Joe suggests more highway overpasses in Baton Rouge to help with traffic flow.

Information explosion

After days of staying glued to the Weather Channel, which reported every inch of Isaac’s journey toward Louisiana, I was overstuffed with data.

Loraine Bruner reminds us that it was not always like that:

“Hearing all the weather forecasts we have today reminded me of the 1950s storm Audrey.

“We were in a hotel in Galveston, Texas. I had the radio on.

“They kept saying the storm was out in the Gulf.

“Come to find out, it had already done great damage to Cameron and other areas. “Times have surely changed.”

Snuggle seats

Shlomo Pielstick-Kennedy says, “I wonder how many of your readers remember the Hart Theater downtown.

“It had some ‘love seats’ that were wide enough —just barely — for two people.

“My parents, brothers and I saw many good films there. (I was too young to need a love seat.)”

Ancient history

Allen J. Fontenot, of Crowley, responds to my recent diatribe about the age of magazines in doctor’s office with this story:

He was sitting in his doctor’s waiting room and picked up a magazine, to find President Roosevelt on the cover.

“That’s not so bad, Allen,” I told him. “That would date back to the ’40s or so. I’ve seen worse.”

Then he told me it was Teddy Roosevelt…

Double trouble

Jason Bitting says, “While watching the newscast about the storm in the Gulf and the news anchors describing the New Orleans flood walls and their resistance to the 100-year storm, my son asked, ‘What makes a hundred-year storm?’

“Not knowing where he was heading, I answered, ‘What?,’ to which he confidently stated, ‘Two hurricanes coming together!’

“I hope we don’t ever get to see that in our lifetime.”

Special People Dept.

On Sunday Ofney K. Ellis celebrates his 93rd birthday. He is a World War II veteran, and flew 35 missions over Germany.

A brutal sport

Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, has this seasonal thought:

“Ah, the thrill of watching kicking, blocking, running, tackling — but enough about fall sales at the mall.”

Stash the baby

Kim “Pops” Seago, of Columbia, Tenn., tells this story of brotherly love:

“Tina, our daughter-in-law who is expecting in September, was recently loaned a bassinet that has a shelf for storage beneath the mattress.

“My 4-year-old grandson Emre crawled in bed with her Sunday morning and said, ‘Mommy, why do we have a baby bunk bed? If the baby sleeps on the bottom it will fall when it tries to crawl out.’”

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.