Smiley Anders for Aug. 23, 2012

What can you say about Wednesday’s gridlock that hasn’t already been said — and can be printed in this staid family newspaper?

I’m not going to rehash the traffic nightmare, except to say I was one of the lucky ones — I left the house in Spanish Town at 9:30 a.m. and rolled into the office on Bluebonnet and Anselmo Lane at noon. (This includes a half-hour rest stop at Whole Foods for cafe au lait and a doughnut.)

I suspect many drivers had it much tougher, so I’m instituting a Traffic Horror Story Contest.

Just tell me your Wednesday morning disaster tale, and I’ll award the person with the most awe-inspiring, heart-rending adventure a Major Award.

That would be a po-boy and root beer at the Pastime — when we’re able to drive there, of course…

Is this mean?

I normally think of myself as a pretty nice guy, but I have to confess to having this thought as I inched along first Perkins Road and then Jefferson Highway in my attempt to get to work Wednesday morning:

I hoped that among those stuck in the traffic snarl were the people who opposed a loop around the city because “it’s too close to my house” or “it costs too much.”

How’s that loop look NOW, folks?

Nick and Mick

On Wednesday morning, as I was having my shredded wheat (still blissfully unaware of the traffic snafu outside), I was tuned into Dan Patrick’s sports talk show on TV.

He was interviewing Nick Saban, so I paid more attention than usual to the conversation.

Dan, a masterful interviewer, has a knack for getting sports figures to talk about things other than sports.

So somehow the discussion turned to rock music.

Nick revealed that in his college days he had attended a Rolling Stones concert, and was something of a fan of the group, with five or six of their songs on his iPhone.

The image of Nick Saban, that ultra-uptight sobersides, grooving to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards was one I had a hard time wrapping my mind around.

But I have to say, it gave me a certain, well, satisfaction …

Nice People Dept.

Perry A. Snyder says his friends Nell and Carl Meriwether (Carl’s a Golden Deeds recipient for his work in the community) celebrated their 60th anniversary Wednesday.

Carl told him that 60 years ago, they honeymooned at the Hotel Monteleone in New Orleans for $3, which covered dinner and their room.

Says Perry: “Somehow the manager of the Monteleone found out about their having honeymooned there for less than a five-spot, and their forthcoming 60th.

“Ever so graciously and generously, he invited them to be the hotel’s guests for dinner and an overnight stay.”

Death notice

After I told of a somewhat unsuccessful attack on a wasp nest involving flaming kerosene, I heard from Roddy Boudreaux with a safer method of wasp eradication.

So, at the risk of moving into Heloise’s territory, here it is:

“Get a large plastic drinking cup and pour in about ¼ of a dish of washing soap

“Fill the cup with cold water and stir.

“Throw all the mixture on the nest, and all the wasps will die instantly.

“Works every time.”

Looking for stuff

Pam Bounds says, “My church school is collecting proof of purchase seals (scanner bar codes) from Community Coffee products, in Community’s ‘Cash for Schools’ program.

“We are also collecting ‘Box Tops for Education’ found on Kleenex, Betty Crocker, Hefty, Ziploc and other products.

“Another program is ‘Labels for Education’ found on Campbell’s Soup, Prego, Glad and other products.”

Mail them to Pam at Baton Rouge Seventh-Day Adventist Church, 4455 Jones Creek Road, Baton Rouge, LA 70817.

Special People Dept.

• Belle Smith Busby, of Ashton Court in McComb, Miss., celebrates her 101st birthday Thursday. She was one of the first graduates of Our Lady of the Lake Nursing School in 1940, and served as a Pike County nurse for years.
• Rose Cali Sanzone celebrated her 100th birthday Wednesday in Franklin.
• Rita and Hurshel “Jug” Meares celebrate 65 years of marriage Thursday.

A taxing situation

Arlene Folmar says, “My kitchen calendar offers me a short prayer and a thought-provoking ‘funny’ every day.

“In light of the constant political debate about taxes, I just had to share this ‘funny’: “‘Ever wonder if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?’”

Home alone

Mariano Hinojosa says, “A friend recently asked his three grandchildren to remind him of their ages and levels they would be entering in school this year.

“The first said, ‘I am 6 and I will be starting first grade.’

“The second said, ‘I am 5 and I will be entering kindergarten.’

“The third boy said, ‘I am 4 years old and I’m stuck at home.’”

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.