Mike Jastram offers an idea for an Advocate feature:
“I read the death column every day. Not only do I read the notices of people I know, but find it interesting to learn about the lives people lived that I didn’t know — but maybe wish I had.
“In some cases the notices read like a short story; others have enough information to be printed as a book, and a few could be turned into mini-series.
“You find yourself wishing you had a chance to have met some of these people.
“So why not start a new column, ‘I AM NOT DEAD YET,’ to give a person a chance to tell his or her story, and readers a chance to contact these people while they are still alive.
“They could include information like ‘I play golf every Wednesday at Webb; come join me,’ or ‘I used to fish but do not have a boat; come pick me up,’ or ‘I hang out at Joe’s Lounge; come have a beer.’
“This would give the reader time to know this person firsthand, before the person dies.
“Makes sense to me.”
Leaving the lanes
Here’s the kind of story I think Mike Jastram was referring to in the above item:
“This is not an earth-shaking event, but I think it needs recognition,” says Joseph Ashby.
“Walter Bliss, of Denham Springs, after bowling on the same team for 65 years, finally put up his bowling ball.
“He said it was getting a little heavy, and he couldn’t put the back spin on it anymore.
“Walter is a remarkable fellow. He is 92 and so active; he has a large vegetable garden that he tends every day, square dances and works out at a local health spa.
“He really makes it hard on all us other retired guys to say, ‘We’re too old to do that.’ ”
Al Bethard, of Lafayette, says the ladies of Baton Rouge’s Woman’s Christian Temperance Union didn’t err when they erected a statue of Hebe, cupbearer to the gods, on North Boulevard.
He says his research indicates that Hebe did not serve wine, but “kept their cups filled with nectar, which the dictionary defines as the drink of the Greek and Roman gods or any delicious drink, especially one of blended fruit juices.
“Wine is mentioned in connection with several other deities, but not Hebe.”
Drawing a blank
Speaking of statues, Madeline Hebert and Jacqueline Carr tell of something they’ve noticed about one at the Centennial Fountain fronting the Paul M. Hebert Law Center’s East Annex on the LSU campus:
“A lonely and contemplative Sen. Russell B. Long gazes quietly with puzzled expression at a blank book.
“Couldn’t we provide him with a U.S. Constitution or a Louisiana Civil Code to pass the time?”
The littlest star
Anne H. Wong says Katherine LaNasa isn’t the only performer in the new movie “The Campaign” with Baton Rouge ties:
“The child featured in the print ads and billboards is a local boy — Reece Matthew Delaune, son of Brian and Claire Delaune of Baton Rouge.
“Reece was the crying baby pictured between Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis.
“I was informed that no harm was done to him during the photo session!
“Whenever his mom stepped out of the room or behind a curtain, Reece began to cry, and photos were quickly snapped.
“Pictures of the Los Angeles billboard, as well as the lighted sign on New York’s Broadway, have been circulated on Facebook by my cousins!”
Looking for people
Tom Warner says friends and customers of Charles Tramonte, of Charlie T.’s Goodwood Barber & Hairstyling, are planning a birthday lunch for him (never mind which birthday) Sept. 24 at Drusilla Seafood.
Says Tom, “I am having trouble getting the word out. I have flyers at the shop, but not everyone sees them.”
If you want to attend, you can sign up at the shop on Allelo Drive, or contact Tom at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The “Casting for a Cure Big Bass Fishing Tournament” Saturday on False River raises funds for cancer research. It’s from 6 a.m. to 1 p.m., from Morrison Parkway in New Roads. Call Tanner Pourciau at (225) 955-2460.
Say what, Grandma?
Joel d’Aquin Thibodeaux has been thinking about “sayings I know my grandchildren would never understand because they were created so long ago.”
She gives these examples:
1. “Hold your horses!”
2. “That’s the best thing since sliced bread!”
3. “Whistling girls and cackling hens always come to no good ends.” (It used to be un-ladylike for a girl to whistle.)
4. “With that information and five cents, you can use the pay phone down the street.”
And here’s one I just thought of: “You sound like a broken record.”
That sinking feeling
Here’s a timely (albeit silly) question from David Kneiling relating to a current news story:
“If they punctured the Hellman’s salt dome, would we have a sinkhole de mayo?”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.