Smiley Anders for Aug. 14, 2012

Now that school has started, Della Stout says mothers everywhere will miss interacting with their kids during the long, hot summer.

Here are her memories of encounters with her mom — through a hooked screen door:

“MOM! I’m thirsty!”

“Drink out of the hosepipe!”

“MOM! I’m hungry!”

“Here’s a peanut butter sandwich!”

“MOM! What’s for supper?”

“Two things: Take it or leave it.”

“MOM! So-and-so hit/squirted/looked/stuck his tongue out/ fill-in-the-blank at me!”

“Work it out amongst yourselves or I’ll make you come inside.”

“MOM!” (crying)

“You’re OK! You aren’t on fire, bleeding from more than one place and, obviously, you are conscious!”

“MOM!”

“Nobody named Mom here!”

“MOM!”

“If you don’t go on, I’m going to make you come inside for the rest of the day!”

“MOM!”

“I changed my name and I’m not going to tell you what it is!”

And, finally, from Mom:

“It’s time for you to go to so-and-so’s house to play. Her/his momma misses her/him and you, too! Now GET! (Dear Lord, help me make it until school starts!)”

Fun and games

As you might imagine, readers of this column were riveted to the Olympics — and not just for women’s beach volleyball.

Their reactions reflect a wide range of interests.

For instance, Jess Walker says if a gold medal was given for tattoos, it would surely have been won by LeBron James of the U.S. basketball team.

And Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, speculates that NASCAR will be represented at the 2016 Olympics — and would have been this year if not for the time and trouble involved in teaching drivers how to adjust to the British habit of driving on the wrong side of the road.

Show of class

Speaking of the Olympics, Roy Pitchford, of Monroe, says, “Sprint champion Usain Bolt, of Jamaica, was being interviewed by a TV reporter at the Olympic stadium while a medal ceremony was being conducted.

“As the U.S. national anthem was played, Bolt stopped talking, faced the flags and didn’t continue the interview until the song had been played in its entirety.

“Nice to see a world-class athlete whose behavior is also classy.”

Flat nice people

Earnestine D. Gordon, of Clinton, thanks two “Good Samaritans from Utah, Elders Schaler and Carter, for changing my tire on Plank Road. They did not accept pay for their services. We still have kind people in the world.”

Surprising cards

For the 62nd anniversary of their parents (Miles L. “Roy” and “B” Eddards, of Denham Springs) on July 21, Melinda Walsh and Claire Eddards Doucet asked their Facebook friends to send the couple “Happy Anniversary” cards.

They were pleased with the results — the Eddards received 67 cards from 18 states and two foreign countries.

Says Melinda, “Neither parent is online, so we knew we could keep it a secret. … Many were from people they hadn’t heard from in a while. … What touched them most is that so many people took the time to select and send a card. …”

Worthy causes

The Greater Baton Rouge Food Bank benefits from “On the Road Again: Are We There Yet?” by the Baton Rouge Chorus of Sweet Adelines on Saturday at the Trinity Lutheran Church gym, 10925 Florida Blvd.

Diane Deaton emcees the show. There will be a Kleinpeter’s ice cream social and silent auction.

Performances are at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m.

Tickets are $15. Call (225) 963-6336.

Special People Dept.

  • Annie Cali Starlone, of Hester, celebrated her 100th birthday Saturday.
  • May Jackson, of Amber Terrace Assisted Living, celebrated her 92nd birthday Friday.
  • On Monday, Philip Dazé Jr., of Napoleonville, celebrated his 91st birthday.
  • Hilda Guedry, of Brusly, celebrated her 91st birthday Saturday.
  • James and Dorothy Lieux celebrate 67 years of marriage Tuesday.
  • Zulma Marie and Sharkey Vance Chaney celebrate their 67th anniversary Tuesday.
  • Carolyn and Frank Dedman Sr. celebrated their 62nd anniversary Sunday.

Lean times

Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, says our recent seminar on bacon “reminded me of growing up on our farm in the depths of the Great Depression.

“Our hogs were so skinny we had to use butter to fry the bacon!”

For the birds

After a reader discussed the possibility of the iPad replacing the newspaper for swatting flies, we got this suggestion from Chuck Willis, of Elizabethtown, Ky.:

“A better use of the iPad substitute for a newspaper would be to use it to line the bird cage.

“This gives new meaning to ‘Twitter downloads…’ ”

Write Smiley at Smiley@the
advocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.


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