Smiley Anders for Aug. 11, 2012

Sad saga of the road worrier

Dear Smiley: On behalf of senior citizens, I would like to thank the road construction companies and their crews.

Most seniors have had full, productive lives and achieved their lifetime goals.

Yet they still search for additional goals.

The road construction companies have given them a goal — to outlive the completion of the miles and miles of road construction.

Of course, many seniors will be well into their 100s when and if this ever happens.

But with the completion of I-12 east of O’Neal there is hope.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel — or is it a light at the end of the cement?

Oh yes, stock in the “orange cones” has added money to the retirement funds, too.

CAROL TER HAAR

Baton Rouge

Dear Carol: Tell me — do I detect just a tiny note of sarcasm here?

Ewwww! Gross!

Dear Smiley: The way I keep from having drippy tomatoes in my sandwiches is I suck all the seeds out of the slices first!

I offered to do that for my husband, Don, but he passed.

It works great to keep bread from getting soggy as well.

And I put my homemade fig preserves on my BLT.

What a combo!

Yum!

DELLA STOUT

Baton Rouge

Dear Della: Your second culinary suggestion sounds pretty good, but that first one …

Sober reflection

Dear Smiley: You mentioned the corned beef on rye at Camellia Grill in New Orleans.

Did you forget the Swiss cheese and sauerkraut?

I’ve had their Reubens in varying stages of sobriety, and they are hard to beat.

DAN BURKHALTER

“The Carencro Curmudgeon”

Carencro

Krystal clear

Dear Smiley: Recent comments about Krystal hamburgers brought back some pleasant memories.

I once lived in Chattanooga, Tenn., home of the original Krystal restaurants.

My beautiful and funny sister-in-law, since deceased, would suggest that my wife and I accompany her to eat out by saying, “Let’s all dine at the Aluminum Room this evening.”

She pronounced aluminum like the British, “al-you-MIN-e-um.”

We understood she meant Krystal, with its shiny interior of polished aluminum walls.

DOUG JOHNSON

Watson

King Blackie I

Dear Smiley: Blackie, who was supposed to be an “outdoor cat,” loves to be petted, but darned if he will bestir his royal self to get it.

You are welcome to come to him, and he will graciously accept your loving attentions.

He will even reward you with a great purr.

I was preparing to nap, but wanted a kitty to stroke — my teddy bear being long gone.

Blackie was at the foot of the bed, but wouldn’t even acknowledge my sweet “Kitty, kitty” invitations to join me.

So I stretched across the foot of the bed to accommodate him.

No problem, as I am short enough to be comfortable across the width of the bed.

When I woke up, my poor husband Pete was stretched across the head of the bed, knees drawn up but feet still hanging over the side.

I guess we know who rules our household!

SARAH STRAVINSKA

Chestnut

Long story

Dear Smiley: In today’s world the phrase “Go Green” is very popular.

I made a purchase of one item at the Mall of Louisiana and received a sales ticket 13 inches long.

I do think the gibberish on the sales ticket was a waste of good paper.

TOM SIMONEAUX

Paincourtville

Ya gotta issue wit dat?

Dear Smiley: One of your readers mentioned that younger restaurant servers respond to “Thank you” with “No problem” instead of “You’re welcome.”

Now that “issues” seems to have replaced “problems” in common parlance, I expect any day now for one to respond with “No issue.”

JOHN LaCARNA

Baton Rouge

Common scents

Dear Smiley: When I was a lad, the two most feared and fearsome maladies sweeping the country were halitosis and B.O.

There were advertising campaigns on behalf of the only two remedies — Listerine and Lifebuoy.

(Both over-the-counter, as I recall.)

Have they been eradicated?

On occasion, I have detected traces of one — sometimes two — of the diseases, mostly in crowded elevators and un-air-conditioned premises.

If they’re still around and dangerous, where do I send money?

L.P. MILLER

Baton Rouge

Dear L.P.: Happy to help. Just send the money to me and, as a public service, I’ll determine how best to combat these scourges.

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.