Dear Smiley: I turned 69 July 23, and it was very different from past birthdays.
I received only one birthday card in the mail, and it was from my health insurance company.
But I have received more than 70 email or Facebook postings wishing me a happy birthday, and they continued to arrive on July 24.
It is a very different experience for an old fossil like me, but I imagine it is a wave of the future.
While many of the electronic greetings just said “Happy Birthday,” others had personal notes and information I appreciated.
The brave new world is here — ready or not.
Tiger hit parade
Dear Smiley: My grandson, Taylor, read The Advocate and noted the Readers’ Views letter titled “Tiger Band gets honor.”
He said, “Everybody who goes to LSU football games, and everybody who hears from the people who go to LSU football games, knows that ‘Pom, Pom Pom, Pom’ song.
“That’s the main reason why the Tiger Band is so awesome.”
Dear Smiley: Concerning your question on whether a BLT is a vegetable:
If you go by majority rules, you will find that it is a vegetable, as it is one-third bacon and two-thirds vegetable (lettuce and tomato).
So now that we have this item cleared up, go and enjoy a BLT!
High on the hog
Dear Smiley: John Ozier was so right in extolling the beneficial qualities of bacon.
In addition to his observations, as a public service I must point out that the oil in bacon will keep you from squeaking when you walk.
Dear Smiley: You can’t close out your listing of irritating remarks without adding, “Ask your doctor …”
If you don’t think it’s irritating, ask your doctor.
DR. BUDDY BEAULLIEU
Dear Smiley: Mention of the old Adams Funeral Home on Main Street rolled back a few memories.
Our rental property and home were directly behind it on North. It was a scary place to kids once it was abandoned.
We lived next door to what neighbors called “The Orphanage” — The Protestant Home for Girls.
I would crawl over the fence and play with the girls who lived there.
I remember them being sweet girls — not orphans, just temporarily placed there until parents had a turn in fortunes.
It was a beautiful place on the inside, no expense being spared on woodwork.
The beautiful two-story red brick building is still standing.
LINDA HUGHES WHITMAN
The city pig
Dear Smiley: You’d think in a big city like Nashville, Tenn., one would finally get away from pigs, right?
Our dogs were carrying on, so I looked out front of our daughter’s house to see a young couple, all dressed up for church, scrambling under my car.
There was a little miniature pig under there. Cute little thing with a black head and white body.
We were trying to keep it from running out into traffic and becoming Spam.
We located his owner, who finally caught him.
The pig’s name is Kevin Bacon.
Crime and punishment
Dear Smiley: Recently my 3-year-old great-grandson made these two comments to his mother:
1. Asked where he was going, he replied, “I am going to my room to say a bad word.”
2. One day when he was not feeling well and his mama wanted to give him some medicine, he replied, “No, Mama, I go time out,” then proceeded to go and stand in the corner.
Dear Smiley: When I was a kid in the ’30’s we liked Spoonerisms.
Our favorite was about the church usher telling a visiting lady, “Mardon me, padam, this pie is occupewd. May I sew you to another sheet?”
“Yes,” she said. “This is a cheautiful burch.”
“Well,” he replied, “some thinkle peep so.”
A less popular one was to call strawberry ice cream “that stink puff.”
Dear Smiley: Inquiring minds want to know:
How many Well-Deserved Vacations can a person “well-deserve” to have in one year?
Dear Larry: If that person is a diligent, hard-working Highly Trained Professional Journalist, I’d say an almost limitless amount would be fair. …
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.