C. Ward Bond has come up with “10 reasons to live in Baton Rouge” that might not be the kind promoted by a chamber of commerce, but which make some sense nevertheless:
1. No wildfires.
2. No earthquakes.
3. No catastrophic floods.
4. No ice storms or blizzards.
5. No mudslides.
6. No tsunamis.
7. No water shortages.
8. Droughts are not severe.
9. Hurricanes are mostly spent before they get here.
10. Tornados are rare and weak.
And in health news …
After I mentioned how I succumbed to temptation regarding bacon, Ralph Drouin provided this information:
“If you add root beer, cracklings and butter to bacon, you will have your four basic food groups.”
More health news …
John Ozier continues our seminar on bacon with this information:
“Everyone knows that bacon, being a greasy food, passes through the body more quickly and therefore does less harm than other, slower-moving foods.
“It is a wonder food, especially when fried extra crispy, the extra cooking time removing all unhealthy ingredients.”
Chuck Perrodin received an interesting letter the other day.
It was in an envelope with a handwritten address and return address.
It was from a man in Thomaston, Conn., who mailed it to the tax collector in that same town with the same ZIP code as his: 06787.
Chuck asks, “So how come in three days it gets delivered to me in Baton Rouge, ZIP code 70801?
“Think they’ll believe this one at the tax office?”
He adds, “I’ll see that it gets sent to the tax office up there. My handwriting will be more legible.”
Our own Yogi?
Shirley Duplessis, of Baker, notes that a reader wrote a letter to the editor praising Episcopal High’s Coach Claney Duplechin for being named National High School Coach of the Year in boys’ track and field.
The letter quoted the coach as saying, “If you’re not going to be here, don’t bother showing up.”
Noting our recent series on Yogi Berra quotes, Shirley says, “Sounds like a ‘Yogi-ism’ to me.”
Pat McDermott thanks “the ones who stopped and helped me when I fell outside of Macy’s July 2.
“Thanks especially to the young Macy’s employee who was carrying my large package; Dana, an emergency room nurse, who stayed with me until I was in the ambulance; the lady who called 911, and all the EMS personnel and firefighters.
“I am thankful that I only had a severely sprained ankle; no broken bones.”
The Foundation for Historical Louisiana and the Friends of City Park hold “Flapper Fun” on Saturday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.
You’re invited to “Don your best 1920s golfing and flapper attire, snap a party pic with Huey Long, Babe Zaharias and an ever-so-cool ’20s roadster, and tap your toes to cool jazz and hot blues.”
Costume judging starts at 7 p.m. under the Garig Oak near the clubhouse.
Call Lillie Petit Gallagher at (225) 383-3270.
Fun before school
On Thursday, Metro Council member C. Denise Marcelle and basketball player Brandon Bass of the Boston Celtics host a “Reach Back Day & Backpack Drive” at Mary J. Lunds Progress Park from noon to 3 p.m.
There will be a cookout, backpacks for students, family entertainment, music, games, etc.
Call Brittni at (225) 389-3189.
LifeShare Blood Centers celebrates its 70th birthday in July with “A Pint for a Pint” promotion.
Donate blood at the center, 3849 North Blvd., and get a pint of Blue Bell ice cream.
Call Patricia Oates at (225) 381-2563.
Special People Dept.
Virginia Aubin, of Flannery Oaks Guest House, celebrates her 94th birthday Wednesday.
Keeping out, keeping in
Joe Caracci says, “It just occurred to me that the Country Club of Louisiana and Angola have one thing in common — they are both gated communities.”
“Jess Sayin” offers this tale:
“A newlywed wife of an extremely wealthy man was asked, ‘Would you still love your husband if he lost all his money?’
“‘I sure would,’ she exclaimed. ‘And I’d miss him, too!’ ”
Sarah Stravinska, of Chestnut, says, “The warning on my box of breath mints must have been written by a parent with few illusions left.
“It said, ‘Warning: Keep out of reach of children and other animals.’ ”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.